Embarrasing secrets about you

[NiKKoM]

d21lewis said:
Ask, and you shall recieve, Gilgamesh.

As a sheriff's deputy, I was given a patrol car. I'm the only one who drives it, and I even get to take it home. In two years, I've put 160,000 miles on that car. My personal car has only 18,000. Pretty sweet deal, if you ask me. It's my responsibility to maintain the vehicle, though.

So, as I'm taking the car to get the oil changed, a white pick up truck cuts me off. I'm in my civilian clothes, but I'm driving a police car. I try to pull the car over, and give the driver a warning. The car keeps going until it gets to a motel. When it comes to a stop, a big girl (easily 300lbs) gets out of the car. I tell her to get back into the vehicle. I get back into my car, and start running her license plate.

I look up, and the fat girl is running for her life! She waddles into the nearby woods. I jump out of my car, and run up to the passenger. "Is she running?" I ask? "Yeah.", he answers. "WHY!?" I yell. "I'm not even working right now!" I chase the big girl into the woods.

I'm saying out loud "Yeah bitch. You don't know what you're dealing with. I do this kind of stuff all the time! Go ahead and give up!" I never lay eyes on the fat girl. I look for foot prints, broken tree limbs, the sound of footsteps, anything to help me find the girl. After a several minutes, no luck.

I go back to the vehicle, and the damn truck is gone! I look like a friggin' track star, and I can't run down a 300lb sausage patty! I look at the video, and no sooner than I ran into the woods, the fat girl came back to the truck and drove away.

The camera on my car comes on automatically, when I turn on certain lights, and the video card is locked up. I don't have a key to access the card, or the remote to delete the footage (all I can do is rewind, fast forward, and play). My supervisor watched the video, and laughed at me for weeks after that.

This story deserves its own thread!!! xD