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1. Do 3rd parties have to choose what system to put it on, and/or do they put the same game on the Wii and HD systems? Yes and Yes.
2. Do gamers have to choose what system to buy, PS3 or 360 or Wii? yes.
3. Do analysts and every single video game comparision type of organization put them all side by side when referring to this console generation? Yes.

Yes they are direct competitors.

As an example answer those questions in regards to the leapfrog video game system. They are answer no, because the leapfrog system is not a direct competitor the the PS360Wii.

Your questions don't really related to competitors, they relate more to the reasons why someone chooses one system over the other.