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Becoming "famous" has made my social anxiety worse

Forums - General Discussion - Becoming "famous" has made my social anxiety worse

LordLichtenstein said:



“I am desperate to meet new friends. I’m lonely and going through the hardest period of my life. I’ll sit on the stairs in front of the town hall from 2pm to 8pm. I have black pants and a North Face bag on.” – written December 7th 2016.

I wrote this message on an app called Jodel, a European equivalent of Yik Yak. It is an anonymous forum, where you can write about almost anything and where anyone within 10 kilometers can see your message and reply. 
I had no idea at the time, that this very short message would fundamentally change my life as well as thousands of others.

I have lived more than half of my childhood and youth life in orphanages. An anxious upbringing with defeat, insecurity and violent assaults that have made me the person I am today; a person with very poor self-esteem and a deep inner sense of identitylessness. In September of 2016 my girlfriend of 6 years cheated on me and left me shortly after. My whole world came crumbling down and I was on the edge of suicide, and I got admitted to the local psychiatric hospital, but was released after an intense week of care and treatment.

I never had many friends and those few I had, I stopped seeing after my now ex-girlfriend and I got together back in 2010. I know, stupid. But
 there I was – with no family, friends or girlfriend. I was all alone. And in my desperation, I decided to write and send out the message you see above.



A lot of people read my cry for help and came to my aid – no less than 13 strangers decided to show up and give their support. I was so overwhelmed with joy, that I had to fight back tears. 
Many of them confided in me throughout the evening and told me that they too had felt the heart-wrenching pain of loneliness, but were too afraid of reaching out because of the stigma surrounding it.

The meeting went viral in Denmark and the next day I was contacted by Radio24syv, one of the largest public service radio stations in Denmark. I was also contacted by the biggest TV stations as well as numerous papers. 

At first I declined their offers, as I was afraid of the stigma and taboo, but after much serious thought, I decided to tell my story – not for myself, but for the good of others. I knew something had to be done about the increasing loneliness rates in Denmark (statistics show, that more than 350.000 Danes often feel lonely), so I took it upon myself to make a change.



I then started a free nationwide peer-to-peer network/nonprofit organization where lonely people could find new friends and someone who they could relate to. A network where you were applauded for showing your weaknesses and vulnerability. A network where we as a community would stand together against the taboo that is loneliness.



To help new members getting settled, I would invite them into my home each week for dinner, game nights or parties. It was very important to me, that every member had a good first time experience and would leave feeling part of a community.

By March 2017 (4 months after launch) the network had grown to 10.000 members and I had made the decision to drop out of my education as a programmer. It was not an easy decision, but a necessary one, as I wanted to commit 100% to my voluntary work.



In April 2017 I raised awareness about loneliness and mental health in Denmark by completing a 300 km relay walk from Copenhagen to Aarhus over the course of 10 days. 
The concept was; that under no circumstances was I allowed to walk, unless accompanied by another person. Through my walk I wanted to emphasize the importance of human interaction, social responsibility and community. Luckily for me, more than 70 people chose to support my cause by either walking with me or offering me accommodation and food. I only had to stand still twice during my walk, which was better than expected. 

All my efforts has since made the ambassador of the People's Movement Against Loneliness, one of Denmark's largest 
associations. Together we have decided to make 'March Against Loneliness' an annual event. 

A few months ago i completed this year's March Against Loneliness with the help of 350 people, an increase of 400% from last year's walk.


Holy shit I just got such a sense of deja vu. Did you already post this on the site before, or did I see you on the news even in America?



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Focus on the people who knew you and liked you before getting famous.



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Vita - 15m if it will not get Final Fantasy Kingdoms Heart and Monster Hunter 20m otherwise
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It seems that you have more social contact than most here, so your problem is elsewhere.

The older you get the less important your number of casual friends get, because family, work etc takes over your life.



AngryLittleAlchemist said:
LordLichtenstein said:

*long story*

Holy shit I just got such a sense of deja vu. Did you already post this on the site before, or did I see you on the news even in America?

He posted it here a while ago.



mZuzek said:
AngryLittleAlchemist said:

Holy shit I just got such a sense of deja vu. Did you already post this on the site before, or did I see you on the news even in America?

He posted it here a while ago.

http://gamrconnect.vgchartz.com/post.php?id=8625496

 

very similar about it yeah back in November



Fancy hearing me on an amateur podcast with friends gushing over one of my favourite games? https://youtu.be/1I7JfMMxhf8

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Fame can indeed make you feel more lonely. Especially if you get more contact/interactions from people that know you far less than your immediate circle of friends/family. But because modern humans in Western society are so busy with the daily grind, it can get quickly skewed to where your most common interactions are actually bite-sized moments with basically strangers, well-meaning as they may be, and who know things about your public persona and this creates preconceptions for them that color their exchanges with you.

It's just a strange phenomenon. I may have some similar experiences. I was something of a child star (national media coverage in US in print, TV, magazine, etc, and international attention from Japan), and it burned me out pretty fiercely. I did my best to move on, only to be dragged by a very well meaning old friend into a documentary nearly ten years ago now, and which has renewed this kind of attention, interviewers, visitors to my house from strangers, etc.

I have no animosity, and am quite moved by some of these exchanges, but it remains a surreal feeling, and kind of depressing in some ways. I lost my wife last August to a car accident, leaving my 11 year old son suddenly without that part of his life. I am privately fighting a long term illness and do not want to add this burden to my family or the fans and friends who mostly know me for the more optimistic public persona that I carry.

We do our best, what else can we do?



It will be alright. It will die down.



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Well damn I should have read all the pages.

You practically gave away in the OP what you famous for, BBC Podcast + March + Denmark lol

Being famous is a short term high which is hard to handle as its a quick rush, especially for an introvert, you really need to be egotistic to love a lot of attention and praise, normal people it drains on them. Unfortunately in the world that we live in, the more famous you are the more tired you get as all that attention is tiring and you have to be careful what you say (the internet has connected us and there is little were we can escape to) and it can be draining. You also need a thick skin to block out the negativity or that mentally drains you even further as the brain is not resting. Even on a smaller scale whether it is work or social events, we put on a persona that fits that circle so that we feel connected and part of that group. Other the years we develop man personas that we use with different groups.

We are truly ourselves when alone but then from being alone and boredom we start wondering why we are alone and whether there is something wrong.

It's a never ending cycle of wanting to be liked and then being over exhausted from too much attention.



 

 

I thought I'd be famous by speedrunning a few games ? It obviously did nothing for me but get recognized by other speedrunners that's it . I wish I did something else instead :/



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Life isn't all roses. It sounds like you have found sucess. So, what are you complaining about? Be happy! Not everyone can do that.