Earlier today, as I was in the bathroom moving my bowels , something tragic happened. There was no roll of tissue in the proximity and I had already did my business. I was forced to stand up, walk ten feet, and grab a roll of tissue from the stockpile in my hallway closet.
Upon returning to the toilet, I immediately wiped my ass and checked the used slip of tissue. To my surprise, the tissue was fairly clean of any residue. Just to be safe, I then performed a back-up wipe just to make sure I wiped thoroughly. Again, the slip of tissue was clean. "Is the human ass self-cleaning...Impossible", I thought. I must have made some sort of error with my previous wipes. So I make a third and final wipe to be sure I go all the way in there. Again! The tissue is clean! At this point, I begin to toy with that fact that the human ass may be able to rid itself of fecal residue. But before I could make any conclusions, I would have to perform this experiment again to confirm my beliefs and ensure that I didn't just happen to have a relatively clean session.
So for the rest of the day, I eat loads of burritos, old pizza, and chilli. Surely, this will guarrantee my poop won't be clean later on in the day. After a few hours of letting the food digest, I go to the restroom again and do my business. In order to test my theory that the human ass can naturally cleanse itself, I stand up for ten seconds and let my butt cheeks fully close. Afterwards, I return to the squatting position, grap a slip of tissue and wipe thoroughly. I check the tissue... it's clean. I then do this two more times, like earlier today, and everytime the tissue is clean. Amazing!
Now, with the evidence presented above, I think it's safe to say that the my ass is self-cleaning. However, people probably don't care about my individual ass (do you?) That's where you come in, VGChartz. I'd like you to perform the same experiment. It's easy, simply take a poop, stand up for ten seconds, wipe, check the status of the tissue, and present your data here in this thread.
I think your findings will be interesting. I really don't believe humans need to wipe all the time. (I think there will be some occasions where it is absolutely necessary such as during diarrhea).