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Your OP kind of frames the debate by using some loaded language that isn't really present in the examples. You claim that these parents are pushing their children, however in both examples you provided, it appears that the children are the ones who are being allowed to lead and express their own identities in the way they see fit. In my opinion, the only way to see such a thing as child abuse is if your own biases lead you to believe that Transgender identity is wrong in some way.