Since the onset of this benighted generation, I've wondered, "Where did my beat 'em ups go? Where the FUCK did they go!?" Just yesterday that I was pining for a Double Dragon revival. My very soul burns for such a thing! Well, according to ESRB, SOE may ride to my rescue:
Revenge of the Wounded Dragons
Platform: PlayStation 3
Rating: Teen
Content descriptors: Blood, Mild Suggestive Themes, Violence
Rating summary:
This is a 2D fighting game in which players assume the roles of two brothers attempting to avenge their grandfather's death and rescue their sister from the local mafia boss. Players frequently punch, kick, and throw enemies as they "side-scroll" (i.e., walk) forward through the platform city environments; they can also use bottles, bats, knives, Molotov cocktails, pistols, shotguns, and uzi submachine guns to kill the henchmen. All enemies disappear from the screen seconds after they are defeated. The gun attacks represent the most intense instances of violence, as enemies react to damage with brief blood spurts, screams, and twitches. One still-image cutscene depicts a strip club where women in lingerie can be seen pole-dancing in the background.
If this comes out and doesn't suck, I'll take back every bad thing I've ever said about SOE since they fucked over Star Wars Galaxies... and that's a lot of bad things. I might even get "SONY ONLINE ENTERTAINMENT 4 LYFES" tattooed on my balls.
