Legend11 said:
And they were married? Well lets say not married but what if they have been going out with the same person for 4-5 years and were almost there... I met a woman over a year and a half ago and the first time I saw her I kind of had a strange feeling, at first I thought it was just because she's attractive and I'm shy but as I've gotten to know her I realize It's more than just some kind of physical attraction to her, I like everything about her. I met her at her work place and basically over the months got to know her. One time there was only her and I there and we talked about everything under the Sun.. Her two children (I was surprised when I found out because she doesn't look like she had any), where she grew up, where she'd like to live, and I told her about where I'd like to live, the kind of work I'd love to be doing, etc. The last time I ever talked to someone like that was my first girlfriend that I was with for three years and thought I'd marry. Anyways the last time I saw her as I was leaving I went to pay for something and she stood there in front of me not talking for a few seconds, just looking at me (I'm not even sure why), and I couldn't move, in fact I'm pretty sure I blushed and after a few seconds was able to start breathing again. It's hard to explain but I felt bad afterwards since I didn't really want her to know how I felt about her so things wouldn't get weird between us. Since then I've been kind of avoiding her and the place she works at. I've tried to go out with two different women on dates (I've been single for quite awhile, actually more than 5 years) and it went badly with the both of them. All the time I was with them all I could think about was her. In fact several people have tried to set me up on dates (one guy with his sister which I took at a compliment) but I've turned them down because I know it will just be the same thing. I think people are actually starting to wonder what's up with me and why I'm not dating. Sorry for the long post I just never liked someone for this long and especially with such strong feelings :( I'm almost tempted to even move but I have the feeling if I did it still wouldn't change anything :( I have no idea how to get her out of my system, I started going to the gym about 5 months ago, got involved in different activities, etc, and nothing works. Even the few girls that flirt with me I don't bother flirting back with anymore since I don't get the same feelings from them. P,S. I'll probably regret posting this. |
Okay, first off: Don't regret posting this. It's alright to ask about what to do.
Second of all, just like what the others have posted so far, you got to approach her and tell her how you feel. Even if you don't want to be with her in the end, this isn't going to go away. Believe me, this is coming from first hand experience...twice actually. You got to talk to her and tell her how you feel, why you have been avoiding her and ask her about how she feels about you liking her. If she actually likes you too, then great for you man...her previous relationship would prolly have not meant much for her. And if she doesn't feel the same way you do, then thats okay too. Yes, it's gonna suck big time. I won't lie to you, it will hurt. But it is MUCH better than to go through life thinking about "what if I had just gone to her and tell her my feelings", or "what if I had done this, or that" etc. You will be able to move on and find somebody who you will love later on and who will love you back. But that will never work if you don't resolve this first. And the only way to resolve this is to talk to her directly.
I mean, yes you are prolly gonna have to start it casually first...after all, you had been avoiding her recently. Try to do stuff you usually do together for an hour or so, then ask her if you can have a private moment for a second to tell her what you feel. Can't give hints cuz, like the others have said, girls also can't understand our subtle hints just like we can't understand theirs.
