Seriously, this game whips my ass.

This is the face of fear.

So I'm playing this game, and I like it a lot and so forth, you know? This is a fun game! I fight my way through a French guy and a German, a hippo and a Japanese man, on and on and on.

All right, think I! This is pretty great. It's nothing but boss fights - kind of like Shadow of the Colossus, only the colossi are replaced by racial stereotypes and all the deep subtext and meaning are replaxed by a fat guy on a bike. This is my kinda game!

So I cruise through the Minor League, and I stumble a bit in the Major League but nothing too bad - Bald Bull is tough but he's not insurmountable once you get your jab timing down and learn how to counter his big rush. Don Flamenco was actually a bit more bothersome because I always had to force him into a counter-attack.

The World League is different.

The first match is against a revamped Piston Honda, who lays me flat in the first match. That's all right though, you know? I expect that. It takes time to re-learn all his timing, and I still can't beat him in the first two rounds usually, but he's not TOO tough. After him, though?

I take it back. This is the face of fear.

Now the thing about Soda Popinski is that he's huge, he's Russian, and he can knock you down in like three hits if he lands his uppercuts - which have little to no delay, so reacting to them is hard or impossible. He is a juggernaut, an avatar of fear and torment who could level armies on his own, who undoubtedly chews up vodka bottles for the fiber.

Fighting him is like fighting a gorilla - he can be taken down but you have to be either technically perfect or able to anticipate his uppercuts and hit him in the body as he prepares to do them, which makes him momentarily vulnerable to your haymaker.

I took me something like a dozen tries - maybe more - to take down Soda Popinski. After that, I thought, surely there could be nothing else so terrible, not until Mr. Dream himself.

Wait, who's the next fight?

AAAAAARRRRRRRGH

So let's talk about the NES version of Punch-Out!!, because it is fun, and also: hard.

This game ruled my childhood! Super Macho Man was my favorite opponent. He'd always slip in a lucky punch and ruin my strategy.

I hope to be able to fight Super Macho Man one day. How.... how many fights past Bald Bull is he?

love that game. One of the few NES games I have only beat ... I think twice? maybe.

What about Mr. Sandman?????

I have't gotten to Mr. Sandman

He sounds like a demon

I got the Mike Tyson version, it's one of my favorite games, the character that i had the most problem defeating (besides Mike Tyson) was Mr. Sandman...

BTW, Soda Popinski is really "Vodka Drunkinski"

bald bull was super easy in that game, you just need to counter the Bull Rush and he drops so fast. The only guy I never beat was Mike Tyson himself (I had the original cart). I was so happy when Nintendo announced they were remaking Punch-Out!!.

I need to finish my Punch-Out!! Wii guide which died off due to getting extra busy at work. It is a complete guide for the contender mode though.

Oh he is

I can't remember, Khuutra. It's been decades! I remember Great Tiger being in there, somewhere. And Don Flemenco, too. You've got a looooong way to go.