The below segment is an actual essay that I sent into the U.S. Navel Academy. The essay topic was to "trace" ones steps to applying for their institution. Enjoy
The series of events that led me to applying for your school are quite perplexing. Using my most critical of thinking, I’ve managed to piece together an explanation of questionable detail. Before I tell my story, I need inform you that everything is true. I can assure you that I am not of unscrupulous character.
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It all started six months ago when I discovered being a John Candy look-alike was not as profitable as I had hoped. Because of my desire to live in humane conditions devoid of cockroaches and angry hobos, I made a radical career shift. My new profession would be that of an artist. I went to my local Office Max to buy the necessary equipment for drawing. A few pencils and crayon cost me $1.50; an understandable cost to being the next Vincent Van Gogh. So I got to work, taking full advantage of the lessons I learned in kindergarten.
After my master pieces were finished, I set up shop in front of a nearby Wal-Mart. The store manager must’ve been envious of my talent with the Crayola for he called the police and had me arrested. I spent my incarceration in a bared room with a man who went by the name Bobo. He was comically muscular. I would go as far as to say he was a giant, but not of the jolly or green type. I held my ground all night as I wept profusely. When I started to drift into unconsciousness, I felt a hand touch my neck and heard Bobo say in a somber tone, “Sweet dreams.” I remember nothing of the incident after that.
When I came to, I was no longer in a cell but in a hospital bed. Efforts to get up and sit were unsuccessful for tremendous amounts of pain shot from my bottom. As soon as a doctor came into my room, he explained the incident. It turns out that Bobo had done ungodly things to me that I dare not repeat. After the explanation, I asked the doctor about a pin he was wearing on his suit. He said it was a badge he acquired while doing medical work in the Vietnam War. Intrigued, I asked him if he met my uncle Sir Walter Raleigh while in the service. He looked at me with a proplexed look as if I asked a stupid question. After a second of hesitation, he responed that he once knew a Walter in college. I asked him where. He said that he had attended the U.S. Navel Academy before transferring to Princeton.
Directly thereafter that experience, I’ve been fixated on your school. I have dreams you see. I too, want to go to the U.S. Navel Academy and then transfer to Princeton. A noble goal, yes? You probably see that I’m an excellent candidate for your school already, so there’s no point in continuing on with this letter. Just check ‘yes’ next to my name on that little pad of candidates next to you and well be all set. Just by chances that you do not seem me as a fitting candidate, I’ve placed approximately $6.82 into the enclosed envelope next to you. I’m sure that this generous offer will help alleviate any concerns about my admission.
Thank you for your time and have a nice day.
I did not get in...
How about you're experince with college essays? I would love to hear them
