Bought me "World of Goo" for the Wii for VGChartz's Secret Santa event.

A month later, I realized that the "Goo" came from his penis.

One time while working on his grand fathers farm he decided to have a little fun with some of the animals

He loaded up the male horse, Bucky, on sex hormones then lead him into a en where they kept the cows. Poor Bucky not knowing any different decide he would just make some sweet, sweet, cow loving starts his business. Captain A-hole being the great dude he is starts filming the whole thing and is having a grand old tie as one poor cow after another sees why Bucky is known in those parts a breeder.

So now armed with his lovely horse sex tape he head on over to *edit* and sneaks into the local theater, bada bing bada bang and ten minutes later instead of seeing the new little mermaid movie an entire crowd of little girls get the Magical  Adventures of Bucky instead.

Now here is a real twist the cops coming crashing up the stars trying to get into the booth to him and the projector but instead of freaking out he ties himself up then “sits” funny on one of the chairs up there and starts crying—the cops kick in the door and find him, pants around the ankles bleeding from the pooper, bound, gagged, and sobbing “the manager has kept me up here for hours raping me and forcing me to watch this movie

Turns out that manager had a record already for a case 8 years ago that involved a vat of chili and a boys marching band in swim trunks……so they believed it and took this guy to jail kicking and screaming about how he is innocent

Faced with the charges he hangs himself in the cell

Captain A-hole here actually gets a medal for courage under pressure from the town b/c everyone thinks he is such a great kid for surviving like he did and warning the cops

lol speechless

On this one road trip to Canada Chappy and I decide to stop by this dinner I heard about on a food network program—

It was really cool its just on this side of the Canuk border, but anyways it’s a diner but its more like a bar/road house b/c as soon as we walk in there are yelling and screaming about some sports game on the tv, I think it was curling maybe?—but we walk in and they are all having a good time drinking it up –ya know being good old boys

So we go over to the bar and order a drain and are laughing it up with them in no time flat---and by no time flat I mean like 6 shots later and a few beers  (I know never mix hard with beer it wont be your friend)

Now at this fine establishment are these two fine looking girls I mean smoking hot---but I am married so no go for me but Chaps thinking he is the man says  hey, “lets get a room in town here and get those girls to come back to our room ( I interjected here that we could get two room since I was married) and he agrees

20 mins later he was driving back to the hotel to get the rooms while I almost passed out in the back seat

The drunk driving is no the no-no for the story

But one thing leads to another and I am now tucked nicely into my bed while he escorts the two ladies next door for what I can only assume will be a vag disease filled  love fest

(time warp to the morning)

So I hear a soft knock on the door that joins our two room roll outa bed to see what is up---flick the handle and turn around to get back to sleep—it was one of the girls (janet I think—cant remember their names man I wish I could tho) she says something about using my shower real quick since her friend is in the other—I say go for it just leave me a towel---it was at this point I glanced over and noticed she was naked –frm head to toe

But the big shock came when I glanced down and noticed that she oddly enough had three legs!

I kept my cool until she/he had closed the door  then ZOOM like a bullet I am in the next room and it smells nasty –kinda like that old sock we hopped out mom would never find in the closet—right guys….

I shake Chap awake and am lie what the hell dude?

He mumbles something about having a weird as dream and cant remember if he had sex last night our not

( a small part of me hated to do it but ya know)

I filled him in that he did but asked what the dream was about---

“well it was weird but I think I cam back to the room and started to get freaky with the girls but then all of the sudden they had like dongs and such –I don’t remember much after that but man I must have fallen out of bed or something my but hurts like crazy”

I just chuckled and said okay—well I am going to go back to bed for  a bit the girls *lol* are in the shower ad will be out shortly

Man I wish you could have seen his face when they got out of the shower and started to get dressed-------

already did

Likes men!

So back when we were kids we used to get into trouble a lot---well let me correct that –he would get in trouble and drag me down for the ride…but I mean I have known him since we went to the same daycare so ehhhh…I mean I cant just cut ties, but I digres

So any ways we got caught for trying to shave a cat so as a last straw we were both sent to this summer camp for young boys, I don’t  know I guess to help build character or something

But also at this camp was a special needs boy named Charles---he was a little slow and had these misshapen legs so he was in a wheel chair

So I knew it was going to be trouble an I did try to warn the counselors to not let my friend be near him but being the genius self help hippies that they were they got t in their heads it would be good for be Ta to be his care taker and camp buddy----OMG seriously?

So the first day he decides it would be funny to take a pee right on the kid and such---sure enough he does and then to make matters worse the counselors think it must have been Charles and give him a time out in the “helper hut” –it was this little hut full of kitten posters and such—but the bad things that happened there ….lets just say one of the counselors was an ex-con or had to be that had a thing for little boys

Then the next day tings get even worse—I don’t think there was a substance at the cam that Be Ta did not try to put into this kids moth and make him eat

He also went even further and glued ( I mean bare skin against leather) him to the wheel chair he was in and push it down a hill

Charles is screaming and doing about forty and he flys down this big hill by camp

Well they did get him to stop but only by the act of having a house show up in his path

Here is a kicker they get back up to Be Ta and he had slapped his face real hard so there was a bruise forming and convinced the counselors that he was trying his hardest but Charles just kept hitting him and sniffing glue and such----then he starts crying and every one gives him a big hug and kick Charles out of camp the next day

bump

likes to poop on his friends and make them eat it

always pauses the game and tries to look at peach's privates in brawl.