Black & White Kitty
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Initial insertion, kitten was injected with 2mg equivalent dosage of Valium via Ketamine after 12 hr fasting regimen. Notice pre-drilled side hole for ventilation/feeding tube. |
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After insertion, feeding tube not yet inserted, ventilation through 1/4 inch side hole drilled with diamond-tipped bit. |
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Rear aspect, revealing initial swelling reaction from Super Glue. Rectal diverticulum to side tube usually spontaneously occurs in one week. |
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Gray Kitty
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Initial insertion, with aid of Alessi shoehorn. Kitten has been given muscle relaxant 30 min. prior to insertion process. |
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After 1 week, using proprietary airhole/feeding tube technology. Notice the conformal shaping accelerated through the use of calcium sequestering agent to soften bone structure. After 1 month skull will attain complete conformity to flat surface resulting in the desirable "bonsai kitty" expression. |
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Rear aspect, revealing excellent sealing properties of Super Glue. No leakage has ever occured with proper application. Thus, fur remains soft and tail attains beautiful convolutions as the months pass! |
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Method
At only a few weeks of age, a kitten's bones have not yet hardened and become osseous. They are extremely soft and springy. In fact, if you take a week-old kitten and throw it to the floor, it will actually bounce! We do not recommend that you try this at home. The kitten may bounce under the furniture and be difficult to retrieve, as well as covered in unsightly household dust. However, the flexibility of the kitten's skeleton means that if the bones are gently warped at this early age, they can be molded into any desired shape. At Bonsai Kitten, we achieve this by placing the kitten into a rigid vessel soon after birth, and allowing the young cat to grow out its formative time entirely within this container. The kitten essentially grows into the shape of the vessel! Once the cat is fully developed, it is removed (or the vessel broken to remove it!), producing the lovable, furry pet you've always wanted, but it remains in the shape you've always dreamed of! There is virtually no limit to the eventual shape of your pet.
Practical Considerations
At Bonsai Kitten, we are happy to take care of all the little details and simply deliver to you a fully shaped kitten according to your specifications. However, for those who have applied for and received the appropriate Bonsai Kitticulture permits from the U.S. government, we are happy to provide details of the procedure to those who want to start from "scratch"! There are three main requirements that must be considered when making a Bonsai Kitten:
- Air. This ought to go without saying, but you'd be surprised how many amateurs forget this detail and wind up with a cold, hard kitty in the morning! If the containment vessel is sealed, you must drill airholes prior to kitten insertion. A diamond drill is recommended for glass vessels.
- Food & Water. Especially if the kitten's head is being shaped (one of the most versatile aspects of the Bonsai Kitten), it will not be able to eat or drink normally. The most common solution is another hole in the container with a feeding tube to the kitten's mouth, where a liquid food slurry can provide both nutrient and hydration requirements.
- Waste Removal. Left to its own devices, the kitten would quickly fill its vessel with its own urine and feces, leading to certain sickness and death, not to mention the inevitably unpleasant appearance and odor. The best solution is to seal the kitten's anus with Super Glue prior to insertion, and then insert a waste tube through a third hole in the vessel. As the kitten's body is still developing, a natural rectal diverticulum will soon form around the tube, which can be drained in any convenient fashion. It's just like a kitty colostomy bag!
If you have your license to "grow your own", don't hesitate to contact us for assistance and also to let us know your results! Our staff are always happy to help. Remember, you should not attempt these procedures without the proper training and licenses. Bonsai Kitten will not be held responsible for the results of any attempts to apply any procedures described on this web site.
Please do what you can to try and save theese and other kittens with what ever you can do and by signing the petition.
http://www.petitiononline.com/J1A2D3E4/petition.html
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Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
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Is marijuana the best medicine?
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