| Smash_Brother said: This has BMX XXX written all over it. |
I wrote this editorial for an old website I wrote for during E3 2002 when I had BMX XXX demoed for me by the producer of the game. Figured the BMX XXX refernce gave me reason to post it:
"During today’s tour of the Acclaim booth, I was introduced to the latest incarnation of the Dave Mirra BMX series, which is now given the new suffix “XXX”. The new addition to the series is being billed as the first M rated extreme sports game. The demonstrator, who also is the executive producer of the game, said the features in Dave Mirra XXX would include graphic language, content, and even nudity.
The first of the new selling points the producer started describing was the fact that the female riders will be able to ride topless. Apparently the restrictions of programming shirts were holding back the development cycle, and this served as a practical way to both eliminate those problematic clothing articles and accurately represent the growing field of nude BMX stunt riding. According to the producer, you can also use the Create a Rider mode to “make the tits as big as you want.” For some strange reason, my thoughts keep returning to the movie “Weird Science”. He also told me of the new technology they have incorporated to allow for realistic jiggling of the riders’ assets, talking of how they’d be “flopping around as you ride”. Quite a difference from previous games in this same vein, if I do say so myself. A quick note to the ladies in our reading audience (both of you), he also confirmed that you can remove the male riders’ shirts as well, so you can breathe a sigh of relief.
Next, he took me through a couple of the “missions” in the game. The first mission involved helping a fireman whose hose was hanging flaccid as he held it. He asked you to help him fill his hose, or something to that effect. I’m pretty sure that this is a completely unveiled metaphor for something else, but the complete lack of subtlety seems to be completely beyond my comprehension. [Editor’s note: He’s rambling. Ignore him.]
The next mission he showed us involved a crazy kid in a helmet and his underwear who was urinating into a pool. To remedy the situation, you needed to hit a series of switches to start up some form of generator (I think that’s what it was. Can’t be too sure.) which then shoots a part off of itself, which then hits a type of street cleaner, which flies into the pool, sucking up the urine loaded water. After sucking up all the water and draining the pool, it flies out, running young Timmy, or whatever his name is, into a wall, knocking him senseless. Actually, it knocks the sense back into him, which leads to him realizing he was running around sans pants, and exclaiming “Where are my f$#%^$# pants?” An O’Henry-esque turn of events, worthy of such a classy game.
The last little tidbit that he demonstrated is that a representation of the “Scores” strip club franchise is included in the game, and you can go there to spend coins that you collect. You get a more thorough FMV tease if you spend more coins, so start saving those pennies, guys. Prior to this day, I would have been shocked to see something along these lines, but after the extended preview I was treated to, I was pretty much desensitized to it.
The game’s dialogue, according to the producer, has been completely written by a comedian who was commissioned to come up with the plot lines and script. I can say, after witnessing a few scenes, that I am glad to see Carrot Top had enough time between phone commercials to help Acclaim out.
We didn’t get an actual hands on play testing of it, so I can’t comment on the control scheme, but given the content matter, it wouldn’t amaze me if it used only one hand.
Overall, this game definitely lashes out in a new direction, but I’m not entirely sure what that direction is. Perhaps it is an attempt to add an adult element to extreme biking, but I have been unaware up until this point that this was an aspect extreme biking was sorely lacking. I will be curious to see how this title evolves, but sadly, this is probably the same kind of curiosity that makes you look at a car accident as you drive by. Only time will tell if Dave Mirra BMX was meant to be changed into the next style of game, but if nothing else, it should always be able to be played on late night Cinemax. "
I have to give myself a little credit in hindsight. I was definitely ahead of the curve on pointing out that game's retardation, since most mainstream sources were initally touting it as a "bold, new direction". After 5 minutes of a demo, I knew that game was destined to fail miserably.
The dedication you show to any particular console or company is inversely proportional to the number of times you have gotten laid. If you get laid enough, even if you prefer a certain brand, you just don't give enough of a shit to argue about it on the internet.
