yep tell her every day i dont want to go one day with out her

life alone is painful... worse than dead...

 Same, like with heights, it is the falling aspect that worries me, and on planes, LOST is getting to me a bit....

We all gotta go someday. I don't have any phobias that I know of. I love spiders and snakes and heights are awesome (I've gone bungee jumping). Pain sucks, but I worked as a roofer and a carpenter for 2 years. I've felt all kinds of pain and it's not that bad lol.

It's different when you're weak and can't move around and take care of yourself. Imagine if you will that God himself (if believe in such things) is torturing you. I've seen people go peacefully, people go fighting, those that were ready and those that weren't.

Not that you might not have a high tolerance for pain. A good friend of mine who recently passed away had a very high tolerance for pain. When he was 82 he fell down and couldn't get up (broke his hip). He laid there in his kitchen for two days before a neighbor had the police go in and found him. He said "what took you so long?"

Now that same friend of mine died two Octobers ago when he was 85 and he was terrified for the last two months of his life because he didn't know what his name was. It was very stressful for me because he remembered my name and would call me (from the hospice) and ask me what his name was... and then he would call me ten minutes later and ask me again. That only lasted for a couple weeks (and then he forgot who I was) but believe you me he was utterly terrified during those two weeks.

i am more afraid of my wife forgetting who i am when we are older then i am of dying...

the notebook..that movie scares me b/c i dont know if i could handle having her still there but not being able to have her

What you're describing isn't really pain or death, but mental deterioration. That's certainly worse than death to me, but I see no point in living your life constantly worrying about how it will end.  Life exists to be enjoyed.  

i can deal with pain, but the idea of death, the uncertainty of it is what drives me crazy. I'm quite curious and with so much about this world that hasnt been answered yet, i want to live on.