@alex

Alex Alex.. 

LOL.

It's all about being non shalant and not so technical as well.

You could simply say, "I would rather be f****d by a rhinoceros"

Short and sweet :)

Delivery is important too.

I take it you didn't like the new Sonic the hedgehog game.

sonic does fucking suck big hairy gorilla balls now. well the 3d does. i much preferred the 2d ones. sonic 1 2 and 3 were classics and i even have them on dgen on my psp

Like Foshoryuken said. Short and sweet, and good delivery. Work on developing your character's own personality, too, not just AVGN 2.0.

"Seriously, it's about as fun as having your grandpa stomp on your testicles."

"Fun? Yeah, fun like getting shot in the kidney is fun."

"Good game? I guess, if your definition of 'good game' is 'diluted anal seepage''.

"I'd rather rip my eyes out with a spork than have to look at this game's graphics''

''Basically, at this point, the game was so bad that the only thing that kept me going was imagining myself beating the shit out a bunch of six year olds"

"And the music...(silence). I really don't even want to talk about the music. Imagine the guy who does Iago's voice singing Rafe songs, sped up to sound like Alvin and the chipmunks. I'd rather listen to that all day then have to endure this game's worthless excuse for music. Seriously, it was getting to the point where I was considering shoving toothpicks in my ears to burst my own eardrums."

Stuff like that. You can be graphic/angry/etc without sounding like something that popped out of the AVGN's ass.

Swearing doesn’t make something more shocking/funny, most if not all of what is in there seems quite ‘forced’.

“Sonic the Hedgehog sucks. It sucks beyond imagination. It sucks so fucking much, it would make a black hole explode.”

You’re opening with that? The line which is there to get a person interested? Right now you’d better hope your voice is absolutely hilarious. I’ve no idea what AVGN is, but, by the sounds of it you’re a poor emulation. Drawing board – you – now.

To summarize the long text:

Sonic was awesome at the beginning but then lost track to eventually become a waste of money;...Well let we hope Bioware give Sonic The Hedgehog back his pride;

Don't judge entirely on reading, because you wont understand, until the words are spaced out, differently emphasized, and synchronized with the corresponding sound.

Isn't the whole line of business "cursing @ old games" pretty saturated already?

You are very clearly doing a pastiche of AVGN, almost paraphrasing him at times. I don't know the purpose nor the need for another one.

I'll watch the clip after it is ready though. 

Its been done for awhile, although I hate to say the little guy is making a resurgence. I wouldn't buy a Sonic game if someone paid for half of it. I refuse to have any faith in Sonic, and I owned a Sega Genesis. Whoring out Sonic has just gone too far.

We gotta give alex his props though.

Alex, the thing is when someone loves what they are doing you can really tell.

Ya know what im saying?

Do what you love. Keep up the practice.

Do you think AVGN just hopped infront of a camera and was being funny and  making money?

NO!

Practice makes perfect. You live to fight another day stronger then ever.