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Forums - Gaming - What do you think of this paragraph for my review?

Now, video games, have names, to differentiate them, from one another. If they all have the exact same name, that would defeat the entire concept of having names, and would all be exactly the same, as not having that exact same name, because nothing is differentiated. Have fun trying to complete your Zelda collection. Now, why the fuck am I telling you this? Well, why the fuck are there three, different Sonic games, all with the exact same name? It makes absolutely no sense, what so ever. Now, obviously they don't give a fuck about the concept of names. I mean, instead, did they try to be more convenient? Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic the Hedgehog? No. It only creates problems. To disambiguate, you'd call them by a number of different aliases, like the original Sonic, Sonic Master System, and Sonic 2006, and that's just fucking bull shit. Why do I have to change the name, so others would understand what game I'm talking about? Also, when I go on the Internet, and try to look up information about the original Sonic, take one good fucking guess what happens? Now, it's somewhat understandable, with these two classics, because they're remotely similar, were released, around the same time, and besides, they're awesome games, so it doesn't really matter, that much. I mean, it still doesn't make sense, but it's really not that big of a deal. But what really sky rockets my shit into outer space, is the reason why this shit-making bee hive, has absolutely no connection with the other two, and was released, more than fifteen years later, would be named after them. I mean, what a fucking insult. Like, what if a new, shitty Mario game was made, and it was named Super Mario Bros.?



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I'm not that good with English grammar, but I'm pretty sure there are too many commas in a lot of those sentences.



Could that be made funny, or no? Personally, I don't like it. Should I simplify it, or what? No, this is the kind of bullshit I face, all the time, with writing this stupid script. Either there's too much, or too little. What do you think? Too much information?



a.l.e.x00 said:

Now, video games, have names, to differentiate them, from one another. If they all have the exact same name, that would defeat the entire concept of having names, and would all be exactly the same, as not having that exact same name, because nothing is differentiated. Have fun trying to complete your Zelda collection. Now, why the fuck am I telling you this? Well, why the fuck are there three, different Sonic games, all with the exact same name? It makes absolutely no sense, what so ever. Now, obviously they don't give a fuck about the concept of names. I mean, instead, did they try to be more convenient? Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic the Hedgehog? No. It only creates problems. To disambiguate, you'd call them by a number of different aliases, like the original Sonic, Sonic Master System, and Sonic 2006, and that's just fucking bull shit. Why do I have to change the name, so others would understand what game I'm talking about? Also, when I go on the Internet, and try to look up information about the original Sonic, take one good fucking guess what happens? Now, it's somewhat understandable, with these two classics, because they're remotely similar, were released, around the same time, and besides, they're awesome games, so it doesn't really matter, that much. I mean, it still doesn't make sense, but it's really not that big of a deal. But what really sky rockets my shit into outer space, is the reason why this shit-making bee hive, has absolutely no connection with the other two, and was released, more than fifteen years later, would be named after them. I mean, what a fucking insult. Like, what if a new, shitty Mario game was made, and it was named Super Mario Bros.?

Well you swear too often. 6 times you use the F word and 4 times the S word. It sounds like you have a limited vocabulary. You use too many commas. There is no paragraphing. It would look better if you spaced things out more. Your tone seems too agressive and opinionated.

 



You swear too much.



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Thanks. Now we're getting somewhere. Oh, also, let me know if it's AVGN quality, or not.



i'm, confused, and, i, don't, think, i , understand, which, game you, are, reviewing.



 Next Gen 

11/20/09 04:25 makingmusic476 Warning Other (Your avatar is borderline NSFW. Please keep it for as long as possible.)

Now, besides the swearing. That's easy to remove. Besides that, is it funny, if I were to make in a review, or is it far too specific. That's only one part too. I'm not sure.



watch the language



Go to IGN or any review site and type up user reviews on games you have played.
You will find out whether or not people like reading your game reviews. Be more objectionable- do not just highlight the negative aspects in the game. Every game has positives no matter how bad the game is. Be specific- we had no idea which game you were talking about.