I *always* crap in the handicap stall at work. It's nice and roomy and people can't see your feet so there's no way to tell who's in there.

If I see that the handicap stall is taken I just leave and come back later unless I have to take a mad crap. 

I actually shed a tear laughing at this thread. I'm such an 11 year old!

After reading this... I went to poop.... It was like listening to a river and then peeing

 It really is awesome to poop at work. I can think of no better way to kill some time on the job than to take a nice dump on the company's dime.

The handicap stall is the best stall by far. Ample room to spread those legs, hide those feet, and its always in the far corner which allows you more privacy. Which I occasionally use to kick off my shoes and give myself a food massage. Its also the most difficult stall to assault in a zombie attack. Yes I have considered the possibility.

I am unfortunately probably the reason for this thread. I am the madcap practical joker at work. I will pull, twist, and tear your chain. One of my favorite pranks is to run in the restroom and bang away at the stall to throw off the victims off rhythm or worse throw them off of their throne. The best part is you almost never get caught. I also like to make disturbing noises, thrown money underneath the stalls, or even send unrequested toilet paper under the stall cracks. I also love to leave little mysteries in the stalls. Ambiguous notes on the toilet paper.

No I don't do it every day, but occasionally I get the hankering to really screw with my coworkers. Always makes the day go faster if you have taken a little time to screw with just one other person. A personal joke that lasts for hours. You want to know how you get the bathroom to yourself. Moan like your being tortured and tickled at the same time. Other people who really have to go can't its like taking a dump under enemy fire. One time I had a real dedicated guy in the stall next to me.

All I said was "God why god me? I don't wanna die? What did I do that was so bad? Please stop the blood please." I can tell the guy was over four hundred pounds but he moved like a marathon runner. I think of the restroom as a place of fun.

More Terms,

This time from http://www.workpoop.com

There are as many different kinds of poop as there
are people in the world. Butt holes are like opinions,
everybody has one, and where there's a butt, there
will be poop. This section is here to help people understand their poop by understanding the different kinds of poop that there is. Here, one can look
at the glossary of poop terms which are dedicated to this site and created by our own staff here at workpoop.com.


AIR RAID POO When you sit down to poo and only farts come out

AN ARTIFACT This is a mostly solid poo that appears to be normal at first glance. Once flushed however, fecal remnants remain attached to the bottom of the bowl for the next pooper or poopers to discover.

CABBAGE POO Poo that comes out green.

CAJUN POO Poo that burns on the way out.

CANTALOUPE POO A turd that is as wide as it is long and makes a huge splash once it hits the toilet.

FLAME THROWER Similer to the salad shooter but causes the anus to burn due to the high levels of capsicum (makes hot peppers hot).

GHOST POO A poo that disappears once it hits the toilet. Kind of haunts you wondering where it went.

GUARD DOG A poo that hangs out in the anus and protects the butt from any unwanted perpetrators.

OBESE POO Poo that's so big it hurts coming out, brother of the Cantaloupe Poo.

PEEKABOO POO A poo that slides into the drain hole and only pokes its head out for a second when you flush than retreats down the drain again.

PERISCOPE POO Poo so huge that the poo is actually sticking out of the water.

POO MAN CHU A Poo Man Chu is when someone with really long butt hairs braids their hair like a goatee coming from their butt hole. It can also be emulated by hanging a long turd from your chin, but we do not recommend this.

RECURRING POO Every time you get done pooping and get up another one comes out.

SALAD SHOOTER A form of diarrhea that sprays out of your butt at a rapid pace.

SNAKE CHARMER A poo so big that you have to re-adjust your sitting position on the toilet and as the poo wiggles out. Whistling is optional and may help relaxing the poo out.

SPAGHETTI POO Poo that is so smooth and thin that it actually curls in the bowl.

SPLASH GUARD This term refers to the use of 3 to 6 squares of toilet paper placed atop the water as a buffer between the cold unforgiving water, and the pooper's anus.

UNDERACHIEVER POO A poo that is so small it wasn't worth pooping.

UPPER DECK An upper deck is where you take the top off of the back of the toilet and poop in the reserved water so that the poop is trapped. Everytime the toilet is flushed afterwards the toilet will be filled up with fresh poo water.

what about the dude you worked with who walks in the restroom looks at you right b4 he enters the stall and just drops the loudest deuce/bombs while your washing your hands.

im usually like laughing under my breath trying not to make a sound and then leave the restroom LOLing

i think these "rules" would work for many settings. Not jsut work.

I almost shit my pants just reading that. LOL

I had to do a bathroom run myself after reading this.
LOL!!!