And I don’t mean random, temporary thoughts that you immediately dismiss upon their introduction. I’m talking about deeper, persistent, relatively prolonged episodes of your consciousness. Let me elaborate. For me, they aren’t solidified enough to influence my actions, so I wouldn’t say they’re a part of my beliefs. However, they also aren’t temporary or insignificant enough to be called mere “thoughts”. They seem to serve as an intermediate between the two. I suppose “inclination” would be the proper term (I do have some disturbing, actual “beliefs”, but that’s for another thread mayhaps).
Perhaps an example is in order for further clarification. Due to obvious privacy concerns, I won’t be listing my actual experiences. Rather, I will list an unrelated experience which I think is of the same magnitude as the experiences that I have. Hopefully, this gives some perspective.
I wish some of my closest family members that I see on a daily basis didn’t exist. I don’t mean I want them to be murdered or anything; just that they didn’t exist. Perhaps, I wish I could go back in time and prevent them from being conceived. Or I wish that they were just a different person altogether. In short, I wish I lived in a universe where they did not exist. These are the people who I live with and greet with apparent affection; even though deep down I would prefer it if they weren’t around. The weird thing is there’s nothing really wrong with these people, and I can’t understand why I won’t them gone.
It’s kind of messed up really, when you think about it. I sometimes have a decent time with these people (same could be said with almost any human being), but if a magic genie offered to eliminate them from my universe, I would accept immediately. I’ve had this “pseudo-belief” for about 5-6 years. Worry not…I have no homicidal tendencies or anything of that nature. I’m not sure if such inclinations would be considered morally wrong or not, but I personally believe they’re okay as long as you don’t act on them. In fact, even if I somehow altered the universe in a way that they never existed, I believe that would be morally acceptable, but I digress.
More examples upon request.
Again, this isn’t an inclination that I actually have. However, I do believe it may be of a similar magnitude on the “messed up” scale as some of the beliefs I do have. So when responding, you can reply to the example I give with confidence that it represents myself accurate. Also, again, you should know that I would never act on these beliefs. In fact, I would never tell this to anyone I have to interact with in my life.
So that’s me. I have a few questions for all of you if you have read this far. What are some relatively deep inclinations that most would find disturbing? If you have none, then do you consider people like me to be in need of psychological help? Do you consider my example to be morally wrong? Also, do you think it’s reasonable to judge someone by their thoughts, even if there’s little indication that such thoughts would affect behavior? Leave your opinions below. Opposition is encouraged.
