I'm safe, Friar Tuck. I've never done masterbatation.

Oh, like God doesn't do it too... 

Masterbatation?

Ryan, if you are not Catholic you can't commit any of the sins of that religion. Therefore, you can't go to Hell. But of course you won't go to Heaven either.

As for masterbating, I posted something in the funny pics thread a few months ago: This pic.

The big bang was a result of one of his sessions.  The universe is just one big jizz and we are all swimming in God's jizz.

Robin Hood might squeeze in on a technicality. If his defense team is good, they'll argue that it was the King who was stealing, all Robin Hood was doing was returning money to peasants. That was before the Divine Right of Kings become popular, I think, so he doesn't have to worry about that. John also had his problems with the Vatican and was excommunicated for awhile, so Robin Hood might be able to play up that angle. The Catholic church was a complete rip-off at that time, more than any simple thief, so hopefully god was too busy with sending priests to hell to worry about a friendly bandit.

I thought Robin was an atheist...

Hard to say. According to the Catholics, probably yes.
According to the Christians, probably no.

First, Robin Hood would have to be real.  Second, so would Heaven or Hell, both of which exist as reward and consequence of actions.

In Catholocism, if you sin and repent your sin you don't just go to Heaven.  You go to Purgatory, which is like Hell, in that you pay for your sins through suffering, but on the Day of Judgment, you can ascend into Heaven.  Since breaking the Ten Commandments would be a more serious sin, it's likely that you would have a more severe punishment in Purgatory. 

My personal opinion is the consequence of one's actions are what happens here on Earth not whether or not you go to Heaven or Hell.  In simple terms, a bad action can have good consequences.  However, in complex terms, a bad action, which seems to be for good, can be bad.  Then we have to go by intention.  If our intentions are good, but the outcome is bad, then the action is neither good nor bad.  It is ill chosen.  If the intentions are bad, and the outcome is good, once again the action is neither good nor bad.  The difference between the two is in the former you may not be punished, but could.  In the latter you will likely be punished, but may not.

Bottomline.  Don't chose your actions based on Heaven or Hell.  Base them on what is morally and ethically correct. 

I didn't send him to the hell.