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Forums - General - Do you believe in monogamy?

 

Do you believe in monogamy?

Yes 35 53.85%
 
No 9 13.85%
 
Depends 2 3.08%
 
Yeah, be yourself, be free and love! 4 6.15%
 
No, you made a commitment... 0 0%
 
I'm in a relationship, I... 9 13.85%
 
I'm in a relationship. I... 2 3.08%
 
You're sick! 1 1.54%
 
You've raised a valid point 0 0%
 
Other 3 4.62%
 
Total:65
Somini on 10 January 2013
axumblade said:
I've been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for over 6 years. It's had it's ups and downs but we seem to be pulling through. A little flirting isn't necessarily a bad thing but anything more is a no in my book. So I do believe in monogamy.


I'm in the same situation as you are as we've been together for 5 years with ups and downs. Relationships are hard work. Surviving, not many relations do now adays, 6 years should make you even more determined to stay together. At least that's how i see it.



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Jay520 on 10 January 2013

I personally prefer monogamy. But if three or more consenting adults want to form some sort of cohesive love unit, then let them do as they please.

As for marriage, I think that should be between only two people.



Somini on 10 January 2013
Jay520 said:
I personally prefer monogamy. But if three or more consenting adults want to form some sort of cohesive love unit, then let them do as they please.

As for marriage, I think that should be between only two people.


Isn't that always the case?



Majora on 10 January 2013

On one hand I'm so proud of the length of time I've been with my fella. But I realise I'm doing it to give credence to a relationship in which, if I'm honest, I'm desperately miserable. But I feel I don't have a right to be miserable. He treats me awesome. I just wanna say something.

I've ALWAYS been for monogamous relationships, but finding out what my other half was doing fucked if up for me. I forgive him and love him but since that whole episode I just don't feel the same. I don't have hat feeling. It's not his fault (he's apologised profusely and has been an angel since) and although I believe him, I just feel so differently since he did it. I feel lost and I feel so disconnected to him. I just don't feel "it" anymore. The feeling I had when I fell in love. And I feel so selfish. I forgive him so why can't that be the end? He tells me he loves me everyday, but I just don't feel that anymore. I feel - the easiest I can describe is distant. Like I wanna be there but I'm not. :(



Jay520 on 10 January 2013
Somini said:


Isn't that always the case?


Not in some cultures.



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Majora on 10 January 2013
Jay520 said:
I personally prefer monogamy. But if three or more consenting adults want to form some sort of cohesive love unit, then let them do as they please.

As for marriage, I think that should be between only two people.


Yay we agree on something!! Haha :) nag it should always be two people. Maybe I'm just a twat who doesn't deserve that. I'm so confused right now. So confused.



Somini on 10 January 2013
Majora said:
On one hand I'm so proud of the length of time I've been with my fella. But I realise I'm doing it to give credence to a relationship in which, if I'm honest, I'm desperately miserable. But I feel I don't have a right to be miserable. He treats me awesome. I just wanna say something.

I've ALWAYS been for monogamous relationships, but finding out what my other half was doing fucked if up for me. I forgive him and love him but since that whole episode I just don't feel the same. I don't have hat feeling. It's not his fault (he's apologised profusely and has been an angel since) and although I believe him, I just feel so differently since he did it. I feel lost and I feel so disconnected to him. I just don't feel "it" anymore. The feeling I had when I fell in love. And I feel so selfish. I forgive him so why can't that be the end? He tells me he loves me everyday, but I just don't feel that anymore. I feel - the easiest I can describe is distant. Like I wanna be there but I'm not. :(

Does he know this in detail, or is it hard for you to tell him about it?



Somini on 10 January 2013
Jay520 said:
Somini said:


Isn't that always the case?


Not in some cultures.


Just out of curiousity lol, what have you heard?



Majora on 10 January 2013
Somini said:
Majora said:
On one hand I'm so proud of the length of time I've been with my fella. But I realise I'm doing it to give credence to a relationship in which, if I'm honest, I'm desperately miserable. But I feel I don't have a right to be miserable. He treats me awesome. I just wanna say something.

I've ALWAYS been for monogamous relationships, but finding out what my other half was doing fucked if up for me. I forgive him and love him but since that whole episode I just don't feel the same. I don't have hat feeling. It's not his fault (he's apologised profusely and has been an angel since) and although I believe him, I just feel so differently since he did it. I feel lost and I feel so disconnected to him. I just don't feel "it" anymore. The feeling I had when I fell in love. And I feel so selfish. I forgive him so why can't that be the end? He tells me he loves me everyday, but I just don't feel that anymore. I feel - the easiest I can describe is distant. Like I wanna be there but I'm not. :(

Does he know this in detail, or is it hard for you to tell him about it?

I've told him several things. I make it as clear without being cold. I should be the happiest guy alive - he's gorgeous and tells me he loves me constantly. But I'm just not happy.  I feel like such a bad person :(



TheLastStarFighter on 10 January 2013

Majora, you already have your answer from within yourself. You were hurt by the betrayal and now do not feel the same level of passion. You are a monogamist, and there's no way around it. The solution is not to lower your expectations, but to find someone who can meet them. Your current boyfriend never will. For many people, the feeling of being special and exclusively intimate with someone is wonderful. It's not about jealously but about valuing and being valued. Be true to yourself and find someone who will meet your emotional needs.