On one hand I'm so proud of the length of time I've been with my fella. But I realise I'm doing it to give credence to a relationship in which, if I'm honest, I'm desperately miserable. But I feel I don't have a right to be miserable. He treats me awesome. I just wanna say something.
I've ALWAYS been for monogamous relationships, but finding out what my other half was doing fucked if up for me. I forgive him and love him but since that whole episode I just don't feel the same. I don't have hat feeling. It's not his fault (he's apologised profusely and has been an angel since) and although I believe him, I just feel so differently since he did it. I feel lost and I feel so disconnected to him. I just don't feel "it" anymore. The feeling I had when I fell in love. And I feel so selfish. I forgive him so why can't that be the end? He tells me he loves me everyday, but I just don't feel that anymore. I feel - the easiest I can describe is distant. Like I wanna be there but I'm not. :(
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