[>Transmission inbound: Radishhead] <Nintendo Hype Train>

S.O.S! The hype train was travelling well at the start of the conference- Pikmin 3 was there, games were announced, like Scribblenauts Unlimited and New Super Mario Bros U, and everyone was having a great time. I was in a carriage with Spurge at the time, and I noticed that he was a bit unsettled when Wii Fit U came on, followed by Just Dance 4 and some singing game. 

"Calm down, Spurge!", I told him-  "they can't just leave the family market completely, you know?"; that seemed to calm him down a little, and I thought that everything would be alright once Iwata dropped the bomb.

After that french guy left the stage, the whole train was shouting "DROP THE BOMB!" in unison... and then it happened. NintendoLand. 

Spurge flipped over our food table, and he headed towards the driver's carriage - a few minutes later we derailed, and now I'm trapped in a sideways carriage with no escape. I can hear cries of "ZELDA" and "Starfox..." among screams of "NO SPURGE NO!!" - I'm very scared; I think that he's still outside, claiming victims for an E3 presentation gone wrong.

Only Reggie can save me now, but I think he's been turned into a zombie already. I hear footsteps- let me just look out of this windo- NOOOOOooooo-

[Transmission Terminated>]

I'm near the back of the train, and I can hear him from here. Tell him to settle down until we hear what Platinum has up their sleeves.

I....can't do it.. not sure how much longer I can hold out...spurge thinks I'm dead.. send help