HOLY SHIT!!! ...No...

Have you ever located Waldo?

No, but I might try.

Have you ever played a handheld console while sitting in the toilet.

hahaha... No, but, why not??
mmm... Have you ever masturbated yourself via the prostate?

no
have you ever been punched in the nose?

No, my reflexes are too good.

Have you ever removed a tick from a pet or human, including yourself, with this http://www.otom.com/how-to-remove-a-tick ?

Hell no!!

Have you ever masturbated thinking about or watching a video game character?

Of course.

Have you ever had a tumor located in your body?

Thankfully, no.

Have you ever broken a bone (of your body)?

nope

have you ever run away from home? (as a kid)

No, I [have] hardly ever even argued with them.

Have you ever thrown water balloons at pedestrians?