True, never will.

The member below me has a higher 'posts per day.'

False, as of recently :P


The user below treats his friends like crap.

False.

The member below thinks that I need to stop posting every other post in this thread. (I think so too.)

True, you're even worse than me atm...

The user below me drinks at least 5 beers a week

False, I drink max 1 beer per month!

The user below has earned at least one trophy/achievement this week so far.

True, I get one 3 days ago.
The user below me use to kiss his wife/girlfriend/boyfrend/husband between the shoulders

True. JK! False.

The member below me is going out for dinner tonight.

False, I'm doing that tomorrow actually.

The member below me jizzed in his pants when saw the girl he fancied.

Fucking TRUUUE

The user below me will get drunk with me tonight :)

Damn it. Answered too slow. 

False. I doubt we live near each other, though we can virtually get lit and wasted together. Liquid Cocaine ftw!

The user below me has at least tried Absinthe, or Diesel, or Everclear at least once