100% true story: Early last year, or late 2006 (I really can't remember) I was dispatched by 911 to a 10-46. Where I live at, a 10-46 is police code for a driver needing assistance. Most of the time, they need a vehicle to be unlocked. I arrived on scene, and walked up to the residence with my tools. About 1.1 seconds after I reached the house, I realised that this wasn't a 10-46 at all. It was a signal 46. A dead body.
In the living room of a single wide trailer was the dead body of an old lady. I approached her body, and immediately noticed thay the house reaked of feces. Not only that, the feces was everywhere. I had to avoid the human waste as I made my way to the dead body. When I finally reached her, I saw that this old woman had shit smeared accross her lips. I got the hell out of the house, and notified the office that I needed to get the Georgia Bureau of Investigation on scene as soon as possible.
About 30 minutes later, the GBI was there. The old lady was only wearing a T-Shirt, and no under wear. In my mind, she was the victim of some kind of old lady stalking, shit fetish serial killer! After a few hours of keeping family members away from the scene, this GBI agent (who was way hotter than she had any right to be) walked up to me and said "I guess it really is true. You really can eat shit, and die!". Which is exactly what happened. This crazy old lady had been saving her own shit, and eating it. And it killed her.
Ah well, I guess this story is more scary and sick, than funny. Still, I typed this at 3:23am (Eastern Time) with a Wii-Remote, so I'M POSTING IT.