BOLD: I do realize this, and completely agree.  Thats the kind of thing I remind myself of.

Italics: Its more about me sitting in the audience while my girlfriend pretty much swoons and fall into the arms (literally) for the guy on stage.  I know its not real but its definitely a strange thing to have to sit back and watch happen.

Actually, good performers don't worry about messing up, it's all about the art and the performance and their love for it. I've known plenty of casual and serious dancers, and just going by the numbers, very few dance partners end up in romantic relationships. Most dancers know that it can make the situation too sticky. When you have a dance partner, you rely on that person to help you express your artform. A relationship can make that complicated, and even the casual dancers know this and avoid it. This is different from 2 people who are already in a relationship becoming partners.

So even though that might make you feel better, there is no denying the sexuality of dance. Yes, the male and female dancers sometimes have to hint at some deep sexual attraction/friction. But that doesn't mean it's actually there (hence the professionalism someone above mentioned). But if you're going to continue to date a dancer, you have to come to terms with that, no matter what.

In the end, trust her, go to her shows, and tell her how you feel about all this every once in a while without being whiny. Don't avoid her shows just because they make you uncomfortable, that will end the relationship. It's completely reasonable to feel the pangs of jealousy, just don't let it control you and it won't be the cause of a breakup.

Also, try to enjoy her shows. While your reaction is completely understandable and acceptable, try to think about her. You know, she was the lead, it was her show, and you were sitting there thinking about your relationship. That is healthy and normal, but it might be better to try and get into the show. Forget for a moment that she's your gf and try and appreciate her art. I can almost guarantee she would appreciate that, so long as you don't word it like that to her when you tell her.

When performing, you need to think about real situations and feelings to be able to bring them to the audience... So when she does the partener performance, she probably thinks of you to convey the emotions.

Just don't let it get to you too much... It could hurt your relationship and the last thing you want to do is to push her away into someone else's arms.

Aren't most of the professional male dancers you know who? xD

Just take her to see Black Swan. Tell her that that's how she'll end up if she keeps up this ballet sillyness. Alsow, be weary of her ballet coach. He/she's a bigger threat than the dancers.

It is strange to see, especially for a couple, I'd imagine. My sister danced for years and was involved in many shows with professional ballet dancers, and I have to tell you that among dancers, there is only camaraderie. There is a sense of family, built from backstage experiences and from simply knowing one another (do you know how long some dancers have to wait between scenes and the curtain call?)

Dancers must create a believable relationship onstage. Movements often have to be exaggerated when compared to normal, everyday conversation or screenacting. So what you see onstage is most likely just your girlfriend and the male lead dancer trying to establish a dynamic onstage so that their movements flow, if that makes sense. Because they are trying to transfer their emotions onto the audience, it is required.

Of course, it's a natural impulse for you to feel jealousy, stemming from your emotional connections with your girlfriend (as someone else has already pointed out). Certainly don't fault your girlfriend, though. She's only doing what is required for success.

Have you told your girlfriend about your concerns? From what I can tell in your description, you two respect each other deeply, so I would assume that you would go to her with any concerns, and that she would call you out if she noticed anything?

r505Matt's opinion and advice is pretty much right on the money as far as ballet relationships go. Very few dancers end up in relationships with each other.