I've been to some strange dos in my time, but tonight's launch of Project Natal - which we now have to call Kinect - took the biscuit. And then smothered it in chocolate and cheese.
Microsoft's much-vaunted motion control system for its Xbox 360 was presented to the world via the medium of a Cirque du Soleil show specially “imagined” by a company with very deep pockets indeed.
On arrival, every single audience member was presented with a white cape, with padded shoulders wide enough to turn Joan Collins jade. When the light struck us during the show. We glowed. When we sat back, we clashed shoulders. But you can't have everything.
The image you see above, grabbed before a security guard stepped in to order us to put our phones away, features several of the UK's leading tech journos, including Jason Bradbury of The Gadget Show (in the hat). Proof that, on him, anything looks good. The cape I mean, not the hat.
Anyway, once we'd been herded into the cavernous Galen Center and forced to endure nearly one hour of new age wailing masquerading as music, the show got under way just as the man behind me's patience snapped.
The Avatar-inspired show consisted largely of 20 or so members of Cirque du Soleil sitting on a collection of fake rocks, while a fake family positioned in a fake revolving living room high above the rocks put Natal, sorry Kinect, through its paces.
You really had to be there.
Most of the games on show take their cue rather transparently from the type of cartoon sports titles that has served Nintendo so well over the years, though the novelty of not holding a controller at all may sway customers to trade up.
The biggest whoop of the evening, especially from Mr Bradbury, was for a Star Wars game, in which you get to draw and control your light saber with your bare hands.
The show lasted an hour, after which we retired for some hands on time with Natal, sorry Kinect. Or should that be “hands-off time”?
And what's the verdict on the controller -less controller?
Well, it works. When you move, your onscreen avatar tracks you perfectly. The games are fine of their type, though difficult to get excited about. The experience of playing with no controller may be new, but the onscreen presentation is familiar almost to the point of contempt.
You can pet a tiger, play ten-pin bowling, race cartoon cars or learn to dance by following an onscreen avatar. Stop me if you have played this one before.
You may think I am gratuitously trying to pick holes in Kinect here, but if you live in a flat with wooden floors rather than a huge concrete American house, you should seriously consider fitting sound-proofing if you don't want your neighbours to hate, hunt and then kill you.
Kinect is obviously designed to make the Xbox 360 - a console notorious for its male slant - family-friendly at last. At the right price (and we don't know what that is yet), it may prove strong enough to drag the Xbox out of the boy's bedroom, but whether a souped-up Wii experience can make Wii owners ruch out to buy a new console and accessory remains to be seen.
All of that said, the technology is phenomenally impressive, and controlling your screen with nothing but your bare hands does raise a smile.
I just wish the software had raised a bit more excitement, that's all.
Can I take the white poncho off now please?
Sounds to me as thought the tech is fine... just needs software..... obviously.
