Lol, you think? xD

on second thought...continue and tell me about the results...

Maybe you have crabs. that would itch.

if you shave them, prepare for almighty itchiness as soon as the little hairs start to grow back.

and the greasiness... i think that's probably normal, just wash em regularly, i sometimes use some anti-persperant on them (not a lot), can keep the moistness out.

other than that, you just have to learn to live with your little friends.

P.S. its normal to itch them, every guy does it. 'Adjusting' them is just a little piece of being a man, you just get better at doing it subtly. the old 'pocket fondle' is my favourite.

I believe from the sound of it a 'back, crack and sack' session of waxing would do the trick.  Could be painful though.

Well, he'd be like a baby's butt. Everywhere.

Oh wow...that was some awesome OP. Alright, advice time from the recident deviant.

1: Shaving your balls is easy. Simply get a good three/four blade razor, stand under the shower.

2: Stretch your skin so it's smooth.

3: Apply razor.

4: Shave.

5: Repeat in two-4 days.

6: In the long term: Grow a lot less sensitive to it all.

I don't tend to use any foam or gel... mind you, after shaving the skin is extremely sensitive and foam or gel can make it sting. Keep your razor nice and clean.

As for the itchiness, that's just being a man. When I'm among friends I scratch en-public. Mind you, when you scratch inside the pants, or adjust them only use your left hand.

And as for butt-hair, leave it. It generally itches a lot less.

Ow... reading this version of the thread is making me wince down there. But I can impart my wisdom from the internet, based on things I was debating about, and did research on.

For the frontal side, itching there is normal, especially if you shave. The hair growing in will cause the itching, as mentioned, with it being intensified by regrowing back from nothing. Doing it stealthly in public is an acquired skill; best to work on that privately first, unless you might want some people to know what you're doing...

On the posterior, DON'T! There are horror stories of bad streaking, and those hairs there are what help to facilitate air escapage. Removing them all almost causes a sealing effect, trapping air in you, and making it very uncomfortable.

I do what Esmoreit does, except I use soap and I do it once a week.

scariest friggen OP ever...

*hides behind dunno001*

you were safer when you weren't hiding...