My 2020-2022 were pretty rough for me, to sum up (2/10). The bottom just sort of fell out all at once. I guess I was unprepared b/c just before that I had been coasting by for most of the 2010s without much hardship and fairly happy/content - then the troubles all kind of came at once. My pay went down, issues with friends and family. My good friend moved across the country. Sister who I'm close with moved away. Gained a ton of weight. Cousin and best friend got depressed. My friend's wedding - one of the few good times I had in this period - my other friend seized out pretty bad and stopped the whole show. It started to feel like a sick joke - like almost everything happening around me was designed to make me irritated, angry, demoralized and/or sad - is the best way I could put it. I just started seeing nothing but bad in society and my own life. And as such, while I'm not terribly proud to admit it, I went through a phase of sort of hating humanity and myself. I drank a lot and smoked weed to sort of escape and self medicate. Bit of a mid-life crisis I guess you could say - with career/financial, social, physical, and mental issues and hardships - spurred partly by an increased isolation from COVID lockdowns and just a general aimlessness and uncertainty. Depression and anxiety kicked in pretty big.
Everything since those couple years has been a slow/mild yet pretty consistent improvement/incline, and that's remained steady in 2024 overall. Nothing revolutionary but progress.
2023 and 2024 was more like a 5/10. I did get a bit more social and reconnect a little so to speak, worked out some more, recaptured at least *some* of my lost motivation, hung out with one of my best friends a few times and met his new daughter which brought me some joy. Got a raise. Went on a couple dates. I had a couple fun vacations, went to an awesome concert. Still sort of down from where I had been the previous decade but not at a super low, soul-sucking level anymore.
In 2025 I hope to continue with healthier habits both physically and mentally, and find that "fire" again as it were. Continue on the trajectory essentially, but maybe ramp things up a bit more. Go out more, exercise more. Take a few classes. Be more productive and maintain a moderate sense of urgency, keeping a vision of the big picture, but also keeping an even keel and taking things day by day. More balance in my life, you might say. Separate and "detoxify" from certain hindering things like alcohol and excessive internet/social media use. Read more books. Try to be more positive and return to seeing more of the good in life. Take things more in stride, as I have a tendency to let even tiny things DEEPLY affect me sometimes. Recognize that hardships WILL inevitably happen, but now I think I'm more prepared to deal with them and stay fairly grounded.
I look at 2025 more as the year I get back on the right track, while 2026 I'll get the train really going :P
"We hold these truths to be self-evident - all men and women created by the, go-you know.. you know the thing!" - Joe Biden
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