Doctor_MG said:
Cobretti2 said:
Since things got a little heated in here, I read everything again from @Doctor_MG and @JackHandy and I don't think Jack was being insensitive only because he was responding to the following statement as written: "A lot of times the thing that is needed isn't obvious or even possible. Most people don't get mad when the solution can be found (e.g. food, being held, etc). But when a child has been crying for three hours and you've tried seemingly everything...well I understand the frustration."
To me those bolded and underline words, implies you were trying to settle a child using the normal things because you thought it was one of the things the baby needs. Once you have exhausted those things, it then implies there is something wrong with the child that you are NOT aware of. Those original words do not consider an underlying condition, and are then brought into the replies later as a case scenario. Therefore, under that scenario of unknown what is wrong with your child, if they are crying for so long then google as Jack said is right, take them to get treated. There is no implication that you are a bad parent if your child has underlying conditions that you know about and you know that no matter what you do sometimes won't stop them for crying. The implication is if you don't know what is wrong with your child and you do nothing then you are a bad parent and I would agree with that.
So the point I am trying to make is that English can be a complex language in interpreting it, especially in written form, as my explanation is how I interpret those words and I am sure others were different. English is also not everyone's native tongue, so rather then both people get defensive, we should try to think a bit why heads are clashing, and usually in scenarios like this is because there is a bit of misaligned communication.
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I'm going to disagree here because of the follow up comments I provided which included further clarification. But to each their own, and I hold nothing personally against Jack in any way, shape, or form |
The first follow up comment started with "I think it's rather insulting to suggest", then clarifications.
I can't see how it is insulting if you needed to clarify what you were trying to say to get your point across.
A better approach would have been, "I can see where you are coming from, here are some scenarios you may have not considered, A B C, under these situations crying may last longer and therefore it wouldn't be bad parenting."
I do realise you hold nothing against him, I am just trying to point out how it can come across (hence why English to me at least is a hard language) because of how Jack felt about your comment and how he reacted to it (i.e. but that is what google tells you to do, which factually is correct and then I think I will sut stick to gaming threads), hence why I reread it all to see how the situation could arise.
I am also telling you this because I have been in similar situations when I was younger and someone older and wiser stepped in and gave me some solid feedback which reshaped the way I approach people. Sadly I wish this advice was given to me when I was much younger, as when I reflected on it, I realised that I have been in multiple situations where I come across a certain way which I did not intend to, which impacted my early working career. However I have taken this advice forward with me in all jobs that I have.
