I wish people would stop reducing everything to black and white, good vs evil. This stuff is also disgusting and will create more animosity for years if not generations. https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2022/03/07/antirussian-hate-putin-europe/
As for the choice let the invaders in, settle in, then peacefully try to remove or convert them vs all out resistance, that choice has already been made. There's not really a way back now. If you had done nothing from the start, the soldiers would have been very reluctant to kill anyone or destroy anything.
But true, then all people in power would have been removed and replaced with new puppets, people moved around, many displaced likely. And it would have taken many years of inside and outside pressure to begin trying to get self governance back. Meanwhile anyone with a protest voice would have ended up in a Syberian gulag.
Yet now there are tons of dead people, millions displaced, billions of damage to the infrastructure. The country is effectively set back decades and will take several generations to repair once the war is over.
There is no good outcome. One reduces the loss of life, the other reduces to loss of freedom. Some people value life more, others value freedom more. Option one only works if everyone values life more than who is in / takes charge. It's not a realistic option. Everything in our history, media and what not screams freedom > life. So the only way 'out' is to repel the invaders. The question is how to do it while minimizing losses.