You see, it was the apes from the documentary Planet of the Apes that hunted and killed the dinosaurs with their guns 5,000 years ago. Then the apes were wiped out in Noah's flood since as they weren't technically animals they weren't allowed on the ark, allowing humanity to take over the Earth. In the last 1,000 years some people began discovering some of the ancient guns the apes left behind and reverse-engineering them, leading to all the guns we have today. So everything our civilization has achieved we really owe to the apes of 5,000 years ago, including the English language which was the language of the apes, though we did start to outdo them when we invented the machine gun. The real reason scientists haven't cloned any dinosaurs is not that their DNA is too old to have not degraded, but because the apes are well-known to have been much more peaceful than humans, so if they hunted the dinosaurs to extinction they must have had a really good reason for doing so.
This is a joke, in case anyone thought I was serious.
