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LurkerJ on 22 August 2021
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shikamaru317 said:

So, I've been debating about rather or not I should tell about my personal experience with porn since yesterday. Finally decided that I will. I've never really opened up about this to anyone, this is a first for me:

Literally the biggest regret of my entire life is ever having looked at porn, and I'm a man who has many regrets. When I was in 6th grade I had a friend who told me that you could find pictures of naked girls online, which was news to me, believe it or not. I immediately went home and looked, being curious about the female body as many boys of that age are. Little did I know at the time that had started down a path of addiction. My parents were computer illiterate boomers who knew nothing about internet safety; putting up firewalls that block porn sites or even how to check web browser history, and I had a locking door to my room, so I had pretty much free reign to search for whatever I wanted online. I found myself looking at porn more and more from then on, until I reached a point where I was sometimes masturbating 3 or 4 times a day.

I was addicted, there is no other word for it. Someone said earlier in this thread that you can't become addicted to porn, that is just straight up false, my testimony is proof of it's addictive properties. I found myself trying to quit time and time again over the years, but just like someone who is addicted to any other vice, be it alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, etc., the call of pornography just kept pulling me back. I would quit for awhile, but the pull was always there calling to me from the back of my brain, and I would have one bad day where I just needed my fix, the sweet release of an orgasm to cope with stress, and next thing you know I would be back to looking at it daily again.

And like anything that you get too much of, the amount of pornography I consumed caused me to get bored with what I saw far too often. That in turned caused me to seek out kinkier and kinkier material just to stave off that boredom.

I am currently "clean", but that addiction is always there in the back of my mind, urging me to look at some porn, especially when I'm under stress.

And it's not just the addiction that is bad about pornography. Pornography changed the ways I viewed women. It caused me to develop very specific and strong preferences for nude attractiveness that will make it very difficult to ever find a wife who meets those standards. It caused me to develop kinks that I rather wish I didn't have. Pornography has caused me more pain than just about anything else in my life, to be quite frank, and I have many forms of chronic physical pain.

Lets get down to the nitty gritty, some of the other negatives of pornography:

-It causes people who view porn to have unrealistic expectations about penis size. Let's face it, the average man is not packing 8+ inches of thick meat in his pants, in fact the largest penis size study ever done found the average erect male penis to be just 5.17 inches long (bone pressed) and 4.59 inches in circumference, both substantially smaller figures than the average porn penis, even the average in homemade porn videos. Average and smaller guys are often too embarrassed to appear in homemade porn, leading to pornography skewing beliefs about what is average for a male penis. And professionally made porn with average or smaller than average guys only exists in the form of videos designed to cater to men who have a fetish about being humiliated for their small size. Porn footage of women being satisfied by average or smaller guys is nearly non-existent, which helps feed into average and smaller men feeling unwanted shame for their size. Women who view porn are more likely to expect more than they're going to get from the average guy in bed, both in terms of size and staying power in most cases.

-It causes some men to begin to view women as sexual objects whose only function is to sexually gratify men. The prevalence of readily assessable simulated non-consensual porn and psudo non-consensual porn has most assuredly lead to the increase in rape culture over the years.

-It also causes men to develop often unrealistic expectations for the nude female body, which in turn leads to more and more women getting cosmetic surgery done in an attempt to look like porn stars. Because the so called "innie" vulva is so much more common in porn than the so called "outie" vulva, many women with "outies" feel shame and have labiaplasty done to modify the appearance of their vulva. The same shame is often felt by women who have large areolas, due to to rarity of large areolas in pornography. Then there is of course pornography leading to more and more men preferring large breasts, which has caused many women to feel like they need to get implants when they don't need them.

-A substantial number of porn stars, both professional and amateur, feel regret for appearing in porn later in life. You need only search and you can find the testimonies of many of these women, many of which are pretty damning, especially in regards to the professional porn industry. 

-The professional porn industry in particular is well known for being unscrupulous. There have been well documented cases of professional porn companies exploiting women, casting underage girls, even sex trafficking them. One of the most famous cases was the site "GirlsDoPorn", who fraudulently coerced young women to appear in porn videos. The site was closed in 2019 after several of the women sued them, and the women subsequently sued Pornhub, alleging that Pornhub's parent company knew that the girls were coerced and hosted the videos on their sites anyway, which is one of the things that lead to Pornhub removing millions of videos last year.

-The amateur porn industry, including OnlyFans, is less controversial that the professional porn industry, though there have been multiple arrested individuals who have admitted to using sites like OnlyFans to host child porn and even sell sex slaves. A bipartisan coalition in the US House of Representatives earlier this month called on the Department of Justice to investigate sites like OnlyFans over their lack of safeguards, which is likely one of the reasons why the payment processors gave OnlyFans the ultimatum that caused them to ban pornography. 

Few things: 

  • Masturbating 3 to 4 times a day at a young age is fine, it means your hormones are working the way they should. 
  • You can be addicted to anything, but one of the few things that we shouldn’t punish ourself for, is looking at porn and seeking sex, it’s literally one of the most survival instincts that keep humanity afloat. Pornography and sex are always at the back of your mind because…. You’re human. Some people eat to relieve their stress, some people smoke, some people exercise, some people do drugs. If anything, masturbating is healthier than eating, smoking, doing drugs and many other things people do to relieve their stress. Not as good as exercises, but not nearly as harmful as you think it is. 
  • Part of growing up is knowing that meeting someone that meet all your standards will never happen, and if it does, that person will change in a blink of an eye and they’ll meet your standards no more. Don’t blame your inability to accept this fact of life (yet) on porn. I don’t judge those who don’t accept and keep looking for perfection either, you don’t have to grow old in the context of a relationship after all. 
  • If someone you’re dating passes on you for having unrealistic expectations, they’re actually saving you some time, I don’t fault anyone for having a preference, but maybe, you don’t want to keep dating a person that is too fixated on your size to begin with. Hurray for time savers. 
  • Objectifying the other sex will always be part of what we do, whether we like to admit it or not. I, shamelessly, admit that what almost always piques my interest first is how someone looks, that in itself, is objectifying behaviour as it means I am less likely to give someone who doesn’t look a certain way the same chance . I think porn is the perfect place to let objectification run loose, you go into porn with a certain desire/goal that involves looking at bodies with no personalities. Unlike video games and movies, where selective objectification of one sex (and rarely the other) can be understandably objectionable. 
  • Most people feel regrets later in lives over their choices. It’s not something exclusive to the porn industry, obviously, having a society that looks at sex the way many here do, don’t go a long in helping these actors feel better about what they did for a living.
  • I think onlyfans liberated sex workers from the claws of giant corporations who I am sure are very happy with the demise of onlyfans. The porn industry, like many industries, get away with murder but it only becomes a problem when regular people run their own lives and don’t need a boss anymore. You see this fight against independent content creators everywhere these days, not just with onlyfans. 

Finally, if someone is addicted to porn, they probably have too much time on their hands anyway, and the real problem isn’t pron. It is the lack of goals and ambitions, it’s almost alway the cause behind many of the “mental issues” modern societies have, we’re just less blunt at facing ambition-less individuals with the truth and more likely to give them a pass because “they probably has x mental issue”.  

Last edited by LurkerJ - on 22 August 2021