I think it's all a matter of taste.
So I don't think you're wrong or you "failed" this game. It just wasn't what you liked. And that's fine. Not everyone is going to like every game.
You didn't like it in terms of its control and that's a fair point, too. I haven't played DS, but I platinumed Bloodborne and love that game to death.
Although the controls are more action oriented compared to other SoulsBorne games this side of Sekiru, it still has that "heavy" feel you talk about. Other people may call it clunky, but I don't. I personally love it. The abilities to parry or evade are responsive (talking from BB experience so I'm sure it's the same for DS and blocking in addition to the other skills), and combat is fluid. Not being like an anime and being able to wield any weapon willy nilly does not make a game "not-clunky" and the opposite is the same. But the approach is all about constraint and using what you can at a given time (as in real life even though I would be dumb to compare BB or DS to real life), so for some people like me, that enhances the experience and the immersion. I like to feel like I hit what I hit and there's weight to all those moves. But in the same fashion, I like to know there's consequence to how I choose to play and I can feel when I made a bad choice. To me that's an asset to these type of games.
Same thing for what people said about Shadow of the Colossus controls. They were weighty but I didn't see them as clunky. If anything, their weightiness made the game more immersive because each move made Wanderer's actions and reactions more tangible. I think that's a strength that video games can provide that no other medium can, so I get confused when people see these things as a liability instead of an asset to the gameplay.
To those that may want a more escape fantasy where they are brutalizing enemies, it makes sense that it's not their cup of tea, and that's fine.
It is what is its.
