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Two days due to food poisoning (old wrinkly carrots just scraped instead of carefully peeled and eaten raw). For another four days I could just eat yogurth and strawberries with sugar and lemon, and always in small quantities at a time, as small intestine (not colon, as it happens most commonly) was bloated with bacterial gases and slowed down, so it could not accept more. Before I could eat at least a little, I even feared I should go to hospital, but luckily high-dose probiotics helped my immune system to react properly and heal.

Stwike him, Centuwion. Stwike him vewy wuffly! (Pontius Pilate, "Life of Brian")
A fart without stink is like a sky without stars.
TGS, Third Grade Shooter: brand new genre invented by Kevin Butler exclusively for Natal WiiToo Kinect. PEW! PEW-PEW-PEW!