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The whole Joel-thing is adressed in this Interview.

https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2019-09-26-on-fridging-joels-return-and-revenge-a-short-chat-with-the-last-of-us-part-2s-writer

"A lot of people are surprised that Joel is there.

Halley Gross: We like to keep people on their toes!

So he's very much alive then?

Halley Gross: The game is very much about Joel and Ellie's relationship, and the evolution of their relationship.

Some people are still convincing themselves that he's a hallucination. We've seen how Ellie's changed since the last game - how has Joel changed?

Halley Gross: That took place four years before this one, and they've really settled into this community, he's gotten closer to his brother Tommy - who you see Ellie is looking for in the demo. It's very much about what it is to have a relationship. In the first game, Ellie's 14, he becomes a dad, he's very much in control of the situation, he knows what's right and what's best for her. A lot of the story is what it is to have a relationship with a kid who's growing up, who's becoming independent, who wants to make her own choices and makes those choices whether you like it or not. He's also growing up, and also maturing. "