RolStoppable said:
Here are my picks for the awesome week 1 where nobody can tell how the mediocre teams will play. Nevermind that I still don't know who plays where, and I don't mean the unimportant positions, but rather the skill positions like QB, RB and WR. Cousins landed in Minnesota, I think? Who's in Washington then? Andrew Luck will apparently play again, but that complicates things in that crapfest of a game; still going with the Bengals. Titans and Dolphins are unpredictable, so I pick against the Dolphins based on principle. Fingers crossed that the Giants are garbage again, because trusting the Jaguars isn't easy; not when Blake Bortles contributed barely anything last season, other than not turning the ball over. Carolina should win if Olsen plays; if not, it's a tough call. No idea what to think of the Redskins and Cardinals, but David Johnson is still in Arizona and can play? Do the Seahawks have an O-line this year or did they decide that putting five pylons on the field is more cost-effective while not being any less efficient than what they had last year? So many questions. I pick the Packers who got a stupid Night game despite being mediocre last year and playing against the Bears this week. Who conceived this schedule? Slap that guy, and slap him hard. I am getting too old for this. I really am. I had to give up on the season opener on Thursday when the game had barely started. I've read there's hype in Cleveland. I guess this means that the war on drugs has ended in Ohio? What has happened to my America? |
Cousins went to Minnesota, Alex Smith went to Washington, Tyrod Taylor went to Cleveland, Case Keenum went to Denver, and Teddy Bridgewater went to the Jets first and then to New Orleans. That sums up most of the major QB moves from this offseason.
There's been hype around Cleveland at the start of each season for the past few years. They always have the talent to, at least on paper, improve significantly and maybe even make a run at a playoff spot. I might've bought into it this time if they hadn't passed up the chance to have possibly the best defensive line in the entire league to take a fucking 5-11 cornerback. But no, Hue Jackson is an idiot who somehow hasn't been fired after going 1-31 over the last two years, the Browns' front office makes draft picks based on what comes up when they shake the magic 8 ball, and the coaching staff actively discourages stretching because they believe that not doing so is what allowed the allies to win WW2. Anyone who feels bad for the Browns as an organization just hasn't actually seen them. You don't get any pity points when you're the one actively punching yourself in the face.
If anyone else wants to join the league at the last moment or make edits to your picks, the first round of games on Sunday being at 1:00 PM EDT tomorrow (a little over 11 hours from this post).
