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Hey! I am completely new to this so am just getting used to the forums and stuff. But yeah, I kind of understand how you are feeling...I myself have had years and years of bad luck, heartache and depression. I am only 22, but I have been agoraphobic for about 6 years now and I find every day a battle. I thought that life in general; being bullied for years, losing many family members, losing friends etc were the worst of it. That is until 2 years ago my dad suddenly died just 6 days after my grandad passed away. I mean losing my grandad was sad, but my dad was my hero. I looked up to him every day and we were really close and to have him just suddenly gone within hours is the worst feeling and nothing will ever compare to that. But i guess what I'm trying to say is...the worst thing that could happen happened 2 years ago and I'm still here now. I guess certain people keep you fighting and give you somewhat a reason to carry on. Even though it seems hopeless...hold on to that. Hold on to even the smallest thing that will keep you going(even if it is a game-who cares), because I can tell you now that it will get better. I thought that I would never feel okay ever again once my dad died, but now I can say that I feel okay. And I know how bad depression can make you feel-not wanting to wake up or get up, feeling completely lost in your thought and like life is a distant memory..And you know what...talking to people doesn't always help. Whether it's gaming, travelling, music etc..there is or will be something that will make you glad that you stuck around. I don't know you, but I do know what a struggle life can be, and I want you to know that you're not alone...I feel your pain just as others do. But just keep going. And as I said, one day you will look back to these memories and feelings and be proud of yourself for getting through it. It's not an easy ride, but it's worth the fight. Stay strong x