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The entire notion of gender as a spectrum where your physical body, which only comes in 2 sexes (exception made for intersex people), is completely disconnected from an endless possibility of identities, every one of which is to be respected, is simply ludicrous and has no empirical grounds whatsoever.
I believe the notion of gender as 2 poles is the one closes to reality. Where you have a male and a female pole and your gender as identity basically slides along the pole. Carl Jung had the bright notion of Anima and Animus, where the first is the feminine aspects of the male and the second the male aspects of the female psyche. We all vary in how we relate ourself to our physical sex, but these notions can never be separated.