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I don't really know how to respond to situations like this, but reading all of that, it sounds really tough. :(

I really hope you can get through this and find more peace and happiness some day. The only thing I can think to say is to really just try to focus on the things that make you happy in life. You said you're waiting for Final Fantasy 7 Remake and Kingdom Hearts 3, so you obviously enjoy gaming. Are there any other things you enjoy? Either way if you ever wanna talk to anyone there's always users willing to talk to you on this site, some already mentioned in this thread. PM me if you ever feel like it.