It seems that from your loneliness something good arose: you found comfort in other and others found comfort in you.
Who said that people suffer in vain? It seems you found your call: who better than someone who suffers, to understand those who suffer and help them? :)
Don't let your pains be in vain…
There's two things you can always do when going through hard times: given in and let those feelings control you and dictate your life or you can not give in and you use it to improve yourself - and others.
The choice is always yours.
Find your way to handle this thing you are going through now.
Go out when there's few people outsider, if it helps (at night or really early). And then take a bigger step.
Sorry for the exemple, but imagine you are quitting smoking: you can stop alltogether or you can take babysteps. Make goals for yourself that you know you can achieve.
Last but not least, as a Christian, i believe that what we grow threw (the good and the bad) are not bigger than us. They exist to make us better people and bring us closer to God - again, the good and the bad.
Don't be afraid to embrace the bad and accept it. You can do it!
