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They do allow crossplay. The problem here is that right now there isn't a solution how to implement Xbox Live and Steamplay communication on MS or Valve servers. So, if developers want to add crossplay they will need to use their own servers. This is how it works. Most likely Ark devs don't want to pay for their own servers and decided to use Xbox Live for Xbox/Win10 and Steamplay for Steam version which means no crossplay. I doubt we will ever see crossplay in games that aren't really huge.