There are many social factors that push us into acting in ways that are detrimental to us as a person, and to society in general if you look at it on a macro level. That said though, I don't believe gender roles are the cause of the recent incel problem. Through social interactions and by looking at social media, I find that many people, both men and women aren't attaining their desires, nor are they getting their needs met, and the problem mostly seems to stem from lack of confidence.
Even to this day I still get friends complaining that they can't get the romantic partner they wish they had. I always ask them the same question. Have you asked them out? The answer is always a resounding "NO".These people are so afraid of the unknown, they(especially men) think that communicating with the opposite sex is something to be deciphered, and since they don't have the key to the puzzle they rather opt out of the game, without realizing the damage they are doing to themselves by unwillingly giving up such an integral part of human interaction.
Like I said before not attaining what you want, makes you have a bunch of negative emotions about yourself, these emotions get bottled up and eventually explode. The difference between men and women is in how those emotions are expressed, it is a well-known fact that men constantly get into fights and shoot up places, it is a well-known fact that women are more prone to depression. Men's emotions express outwardly, women's emotions express inwardly. That is how I believe incels are created, don't take this rant at face value though since this is a very complex problem. I am just giving my semi-informed opinion.
