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Alara317 on 09 April 2018
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1 - Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Winner - Matt Hardy
My prediction - Dolph Ziggler
My Score - 4/10

Nothing really happened here of note. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great either. I did love the ending, but the rest of the match was something of a chore. Not a great start, but the pre-show is never great.

2 - Cruiserweight Championship; Cedric Alexander vs Mustafa Ali

Winner - Cedric Alexander
My Prediction - Cedrix Alexander
My score - 5/10

This match was fine. The action was decent, but I didn't find myself caring all that much. Overall a pretty generic experience that was neither impressive nor disappointing.

3 - Women's Wrestlemania Battle Royal

Winner - Naomi
My Prediction - Becky Lynch
My Score - 3/10

Honestly pretty boring. No stories were told outside of maybe ten seconds of Bayley vs Sasha (What a waste, I love those two's chemistry), it went to fast, I didn't even recognize 1/3 of the roster, and I hate the 'you thought you won but nope someone else was sitting the whole match out just to mess with you' cliches. Not fun, and while I like Naomi, it should have gone to Becky Lynch, Bayley, or Sasha Banks.The fact that Lynch was tossed to no fanfare halfway through the match killed it for me.

4 - Triple Threat Intercontinental Championship; The Miz vs Finn Balor vs Seth Rollins

Winner - Seth Rollins
My Prediction - Seth Rollins
My Score - 8/10

Great start to the main card. Lots of fast and fun action, some creative spots, a hell of a sweet bit at the end, and they gave the win to my favorite of the three and the man I predicted to win. There was some good storytelling leading up to the match with Miz telling his peeps to stay back, Loved Rollins' ice blue eyes, and while I would have preferred to see Demon Balor, the LGBT stuff was sweet and I liked it.

5 - Smackdown Women's Championship; Charlotte Flair vs Asuka

Winner - Charlotte Flair
My Prediction - Asuka
My Score - 7/10

This was a great match. Great storytelling, some amazing spots (Reversing a moonsault into a submission was brilliant), and these two ladies have great chemistry. Only thing I hated was the end. FAR too early to end Asuka's streak, and while I do agree that if anyone could do it, it's Charlotte, I really think Asuka's aura has taken a huge hit here. Call me sentimental, but Asuka was in the midst of a DAMN impressive reign that was still building, and as the first women's royal rumble winner, she deserved the championship. Not cool, but the match was good!

6 - United States Championship Fatal 4-way; Randy Orton vs Jinder Mahal vs Rusev vs Bobby Roode

Winner - Jinder Mahal
My Prediction - Rusev
My Score - 2/10

Ugh, not a fan of this one. Match was slow despite being short, not really that much of note happened outside of Rusev being awesome and Randy Orton hitting all the RKOs. Hated the ending (Seriously, Jinder was the only one I didn't want to win and was the worst outcome.) Forgettable, bland, boring.

7 - Mixed Tag Match; Kurt Angle/Ronda Rousey vs HHH/Stephanie McMahon

Winner - Kurt Angle/Ronda Rousey
My Prediction - Kurt Angle/Ronda Rousey
My Score - 9/10

Damn what a fun match this was. Sure, it wasn't the most technical and it's clear that Angle has to shake off some ring rust, but Rousey is a natural (Even if she has a lot to learn) and the storytelling was all on point. Rousey was clearly the star and will only get better from here. She was intense, hard-hitting, had a natural presence, and is a better wrestler than she is a talker. Was a lot of fun, and this match was exactly what I hoped and what it needed to be. Plenty of spots, lots of spectacle. I loved this one from top to bottom.

8 - Smackdown Tag Titles Triple Threat; The Usos vs The New Day vs The Bludgeon Brothers

Winner - The Bludgeon Brothers
My Prediction - The Bludgeon Brothers
My Score - 7/10

While I do wish that the three teams were given more time to tell a more thorough and interesting story, this is another match that did precisely what it needed to. Everyone got some offense in, everyone had their moment, and the winners were the right ones, especially after how thoroughly they were built up. I look forward to a long reign between them, which is well-deserved.

9 - John Cena vs The Undertaker

Winner - Undertaker
My Prediction - Undertaker
My Score - 8/10

So sue me, I loved this match. I honestly thought I'd hate it after the last 4 'Taker matches at mania. I loved the teases, I loved the trolling, I loved Elias' singing, I loved the stupid shit with taker's gear being 'resurrected', and I loved the sit-up counter to the 5-knuckle shuffle. This was a squash, lasting less than 3 minutes, but it was a lot of fun and a nice palate cleanser. I'd be okay with more matches like this if the buil and story are as fun.

10 - Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Winner - Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon
My Prediction - N/A (I refused to make one because I couldn't decide)
My Score - 8/10

This match was more about story and emotion than the action, though there definitely was action. I liked how Shane tried to fight valiantly but couldn't do it, and I loved everything from the time Daniel Bryan got involved to the very end. This is the kind of match that reminds you why you love Daniel Bryan, and how he has an intensity that so few others can hope to match. Great fight, great outcome, Great story. I didn't know who was going to win because I couldn't see Bryan losing in his comeback, but I also thought it'd be dumb to send Zayn/Owens to Raw.

11 - Raw Women's Championship; Alexa Bliss vs Nia Jax

Winner - Nia Jax
My Prediction - Nia Jax
My Score - 5/10

This was fine. I don't really know what to say, really. This came between a bunch of huge matches, and didn't really do much for me. No complaints really - aside from a general feeling of this whole story being immature - but no praise, either. It was a match, it happened, it was fine.

12 - WWE World Championship; AJ Styles vs Shinsuke Nakamura

Winner - AJ Styles
My Prediction - Shinsuke Nakamura
My Score - 7/10

Huge disappointment. Still a good match, but we all know both of these men can do better, and this was the perfect opportunity to go all out on each other. Honestly, I don't think either of these men are capable of having a bad match, but at the same time, this match felt slower than it had any right to be, didn't have as much cool shit happening as it could have, and seemed slow compared to what we know they can do. Still a good match, but certainly not great, and that's a massive disappointment no matter how you slice it. I expected this to be the match of the weekend.

13 - Raw Tag Team Championship; The Bar vs Braun Strowman and Nicholas

Winner - Braun Strowman and Nicholas
My Prediction - The Bar
My Score - 8/10

Again, you'll have to sue me but I loved every second of this even though it didn't last long. I figured the bar would win when Strowman's partner got pinned, but this was fun, too. But seriously, how crazy was it that Braun just goes out into the crowd and picks some kid to be his tag team partner, then does the whole match himself. Brilliant. Fun. Silly. Got the crowd popped, and I loved every bit of it no matter how dumb it can be seen as!

14 - Universal Championship; Brock Lesnar vs Roman Reigns

Winner - Brock Lesnar
My Prediction - Roman Reigns
My Score - 1/10

I hated this match. Absolutely hated every second of it. The only thing that keeps it from a 0 is the blood, which really made it seem intense when it wasn't. Brock Lesnar is a boring champion and I hate watching his matches, as they all consist of german suplexes, belly-to-belly suplexes, and F5's with maybe some shoulder tackles in there. I like Roman Reigns, but he has a similar problem, with a repetoire of maybe a half dozen moves. This match was slow, the outcome was wrong, and it felt so stupid and staged, I hated it.

Oh, and as an aside, why the hell would they build Roman Reigns up, having him kick out of 5 goddamn F5s, then have him lose? I hate the super Reigns idea as much as the next guy, but if you're going to build him up, make him win. At least he has room to grow and improve, Brock has already given up, as he doesn't do anything in his matches but German suplexes and F5s! Brock doesn't care about entertainment, he doesn't care about pleasing the fans, he doesn't care about putting on matches, and he doesn't care about anyone but himself, and the fact that he won annoys me.

Seriously, Brock LEsnar winning AFTER having Reigns kick out of 5 consecutive F5s shows that WWE is still going all-in on this hack of a has-been, which means he's gonna be dominating the Universal Title picture for the forseeable future, which means I will not care about that title scene for the forseeable future.

Roman Reigns cares. Roman Reigns CAN be fun when he's not being pushed to the moon. Roman Reigns can and will get better in time. Brock Lesnar has already checked out and has not a single fuck left to give, and it shows.

Honest question, in the 16 minutes of this match, how many moves were there? Spear, F5, German Suplex, Belly-to-belly suplex, superman punch, some elbows and punches, and a toss into the barricade.

Garbage.

But the blood spot was pretty intense. That made me pay attention.

Dear WWE: Stop trying to make Roman and/or Brock happen.