Cheating in relationships

[Farsala]

LipeJJ said:

Wow, people are so extreme here. I’m surprised.

As for me, I’d certainly forgive. I don’t understand why two people should go through hell and suffer/be tormented over a mistake. I think it’s really childish to end a relationship, especially solid ones, because of one or two mistakes. You know, we’re not perfect and the temptation is there. I never cheated, but I can’t say for sure that I never will.

Agreed. After reading his edit, I can certainly say kissing is just so meh especially with drunk people in bars. Imagine he goes to a strip club instead, much worse but more acceptable to people. I also wouldn't want to know about it months later which leads to...

VAMatt said:

adisababa said:

Is that cheating? Come on, that can't be cheating, right?

Whether or not that would be considered "cheating" would depend on the relationship you have with your girlfriend.  But, I think in most cases, one would say that you cheated.  With that said, its probably not a big enough deal for your girl to ditch you over, if you all have a good relationship otherwise.  

Even so, I definitely do not think you should tell your girlfriend.  Nothing good can come of that.  You feel guilty because you fucked up.  Don't make that her problem.  Just take it as a lesson, and don't do it again.  

Alternatively, if you think you want to be able to do that kind of thing with less guilt, maybe you should tell your girlfriend that you'd like to loosen up the "rules" of your relationship.  While most women aren't okay with people making our with other chicks, there certainly are some people that are okay being in a less restrictive relationship.  

I'm 37, and have been married for 4 years.  I told my wife recently that if she hooks up with another guy, or "cheats" in any way, that I don't want to know about it unless she wants to end our relationship.  I've been around long enough now to know that shit happens in life.  I also know that my wife is a human, and has thoughts, desires, and needs.  I told my wife that I want her to be happy, and if she feels like fucking some other guy will do that for her, that she should go ahead and do it guilt free.  I also told her that it would hurt me to find out about it.  So, the only condition is that she has to keep it to herself.  If she feels bad about it, she can't rid herself of the guilt by telling me the hurtful truth. 

I've cheated in previous relationships, and I've been cheated on.  The biggest problems with the cheating weren't the cheating itself.  The problems come from the guilt and anger that the couple deals with later.  So, once again, at the risk of belaboring the point - just keep it to yourself, go on with life, and learn from it.  And, if its not already, make this relationship, or your next one, into something that works for both of you.  Don't worry about sticking to traditional rules.  

Agreed. I certainly wouldn't want to know, especially something so minor as kissing and after so many months. Although I would definitely take a wife much more seriously then a GF. It would just change my opinion of the other person for the worse. Sometimes skeletons in the closet come up 20 years after the fact and couples fight over something that is just so long past, it is just so pointless.  The relationship has bigger problems if they can't leave something in the grave like it should be.