| mZuzek said: I can't hope to understand how hard it must be to be in your position, but really, you shouldn't be thinking about which girl is the coolest to go out with and make children with when you already have a kid you should be taking care of, despite how tough it may be. Still, if you are going to ask a girl out, go for the first one of course. You say she cares about you and you love her, so that's what you should be following, not an accomplished woman just for the sake of money - because I'm pretty sure you will hang on despite whatever financial situation you might come into. |
I appreciate the empathy in your response thank you. This is what I've been saying to myself off and on since summer. I've been doing my best to make it work at home and at the end of the day I'm miserable. My stomach is always in a knot and my mental functions get slow to the point that I struggle to produce thought. I feel like I'm in a doomed game that needs to be started over since there is no save point.
I am inclined to agree with choosing the girl I love as well. That's what has prevented me from pursuing the Aerospace chick thus far. This is another piece to this aside from money but money is a humongous factor for me. Cause like i mentioned, a poverty stricken frame of mind paralyzes me to no end. It's just how I am. I know I will get by no matter what. It's just frightening and phobias don't always make sense.
The other piece to this is related to a bit of prophecy I recently recognized. This is going to sound crazy and I hope it's just taken as an analogy to my situation if you are not spiritual about visions and stuff. Here goes:
Ten years ago, I bought two cats. A black/white tuxedo and stripe male named Ryo along with a pure black female named Caska. Ryo is exactly like me and we love each other to pieces. Caska is a mean aggressive loud kitty that makes Ryo anxious and despite her beautiful soft fur she pisses me off. Caska is just like my ex. 2 years later I adopted a blue eyed (long) white haired female named Fuzzy. She is free and independent and some how I just know she represents the girl I fell in love with.
Fuzzy ran away (the day 3ds launched, I was so busy with pilotwings I didn't notice) and while searching for her I took home a 2 week old kitten named Judo that was going to be euthanized. This kitty grew up special just like my autistic son. Hugely difficult in every way, sleeping, feeding, routine, social. Searching for fuzzy still I found a brother and sister named Fievel and Boomer. Boomer was the absolute tiniest kitten who never grew and Fievel grew into the absolute epitome of well rounded and good character. I take Fievel and Boomer to represent the children that the girl I love would bear me.
I did find fuzzy because I never gave up. I persisted in checking the shelters until she appear months later. So I had the older three and the three kittens. The kittens disappeared often and sometimes I had to check shelters. One such time I saw a female that was exactly like Ryo. This is striking because I almost never see cats that look exactly like him. I wanted to take her home so badly but decided I had too many cats. And ever since then I've regretted it because Ryo is always stuck between two females that are not like him at all. She could have been the one to help him find peace. I think this female that I left in the cage represents the aerospace chick.
I really wish to tell the astrological side of this story. And this response isn't just to you mZuzek, I just wanted to single you out as a thanks for being the first to reply and for showing your good character in that.
