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That Guy said:
yeah if its Zed then B should be "bed" instead of "bee" and C should be "ced" instead of "cee", etc. etc.

And yet we have letters like haich and kiuw... the letter sound does not have to agree with the rest of the alphabet.

aee
bee
see
dee
ee
ef
jee
haich
aii
jai
kai

el
em
en
ow
pee
kiuw
ar
es
tee
yoo
vee
double yoo
eks
waii
zed

The ones of similar colours are kind of grouped, but there is no pattern.

Perhaps we should just talk akin to The Two Ronnies.

F U N E X (have you any eggs)
S V F X (yes we have eggs)

F U N E M (have you any ham)
N O V F N N E M (no, we haven't any ham)