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LivingMetal on 13 September 2016
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Torillian said:
WC4Life said:

I have 3 children myself and reading your post was...to be honest, it was hard. Your post is definitely written by a person who is not a parent. I don't try or want to judge you since I understand you could never understand the point of view of people who have children. You are clearly confused, both of you, and like someone else already told, you two should chill out and think this over week or two. I also want to clarify my opinions are 100% outside of religions.

This is important decision that cannot be reversed. And no, even if you or the girl deeply regretted abortion in the future, it is still the child who lost the most, not you two.

Never ever think that you could not be a good parent or that girl could not be a good mother. Never.

Never think money would be a problem. There is a solution, you two can make it work.

Never think a child would ruin your life. That is some of the most fucking selfish entitled bullshit I have ever heard.

 

Thing is, a child changes you as a person. I dare to say, if you someday become a parent and then would read your original post, you simply would not regocnize any of it. A newborn baby's first cry, the cry of life itself, has the power to completely change your understanding, the beliefs, the whole reality you are living. It happened to me, like a newspaper shredded before your eyes, my reality crumpled and I could see and understand something more, something that was always there, the deepest emotions.

Take a breather and think this over.

Parent of a 6 month old here and I would advise for an abortion in the scenario of the OP.  You're young, just trying to figure out your career and you aren't in this scenario with a partner you love.  It's just not the time for a kid.  Sure maybe you could make it work, but having a kid is a lot of time and effort even when it's two people sharing the load.  Doing it all on your own while trying to get through college is a recipe for failure in at least one of those activities.  Better to wait to have kids until you're ready as you were trying to in the first place.  

There is never a good time to have a kid, and you are never ready for it.  You make it work, you just do.  That's just the way it is.  Anything else is just inhuman.  As a parent of a 5 year old, I wish I had started having kids 20 years ago so I can spend that much more time with them.  There is always something else we can strive for in life and always make excuses to not have or care for a child.  And with that mindset, it doesn't matter whether or not that child is legally born because it carries through unless there is a change of heart. The true recipe for success is raising that child to be better than you, not what you personally and selffishly want in life.  Any good parent will put their child before themselves.  Otherwise, that parent or potential parent deserves the same neglect he or she is giving that child.