Why you don't like Dark Souls boils down to:
- It is slower than Bloodborne and Dark Souls 3
- The controls are more stiff, slower, and methodical than Dark Souls 3 and Bloodborne especially
Essentially, the game doesn't play anything like Bloodborne.
You don't like the gameplay of Dark Souls is what your ridiculously long rant that I skimmed the last quarter of boils down to.
By the by, to level up all bonfires effectively, that part of the sewer near a bonfire that is just littered with rats? They drop humanity. Boom, use it and boost any bonfire. Can't level them up to where you want? Go through the graveyard and head shove off into The Catacombs. Make your way down and kill Pinwheel, probably the easiest boss in the entire game, and bam, more upgrading ability.
Don't like your weapon? Try a new one. Upgrade what you have. Don't just accept your weapon if it isn't working for you. There is a huge difference in play style between two handing a greatsword and wielding a shield + sword, or a dexterous bow + sword combo.
Don't like wading through Blighttown? Go back to the Asylum and get the Rusted Iron Ring. Don't like taking the long way down to Blighttown? Start with the Master Key as your gift and go around the cliff edge by heading down from Firelink Shrine. It saves an amazing amount of time, and the only toxic you may have to endure is when going after the Firekeeper Soul.
I'm going to be blunt here and say, yeah, Dark Souls is a bit of a chore when you don't know anything. It isn't easy, won't hold your hand, and puts you through hell if you don't know the most efficient ways to navigate the world. I have yet to beat the game myself, but I didn't quit from dislike. I just sort of stopped after getting about 75% of the way in and had already recently seen my roommate make his way through the next area that didn't particularly excite me.
In the end though, you don't like the game because it isn't fast and fluid. It's part of the reason you don't like Dark Souls 2, besides Dark Souls 2 simply being very different from the rest of the series and not that good. You value fast action and fast skill based gameplay. You don't like methodical and patient gameplay. You want to go in guns blazing, blades swinging, and learn to dodge to win. The first Dark Souls is basically the opposite of that until you "git gud". You don't want to git gud and learn the game though because you aren't a patient gamer.
I mean, look at your top five games:
1. Fast action
2. Fast fighting
3. Fast action
4. Fast-ish action
5. Variable, but generally faster paced gameplay
You may as well stay away from any game that absolutely demands an incredibly slow learning curve that doesn't also involve fast paced gameplay, because clearly you need the latter to make the former bearable.
