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I am not talking about Windows 10.

I am talking about getting the routine "Recommended" updates after installing any version of Windows. It's stuck on "checking for updates" forever, nothing else happens. I googled the problem and you can check the result in the OP for yourself, millions of results TONS of people complaining. I shouldn't be running into such a problem because crucial security updates are a big deal, yet, it's a wildly popular bug.

Windows 10 problems was a whole another story, no need to get into. I thought it would be easier to do a fresh install of Windows 7, and boy I was so wrong.