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I think the real solution is wealth. Get muslims up to Western standards in places they're not and over time they'll end up similar to the west.

I know a lot of Muslims who are well off from university and I can tell you they don't act like muslims are supposed to behind their parents back. But if they were growing up in a poor part of Iraq or Afghanistan out in the country side the extremist ideals might appeal to them because their life is pretty shit.